509
He had me in the first half, but holy shit.
Anyone think he'll be genuinely surprised when it falls apart?
Narrator: "As it turned out, the glue had never been defective."
You buy a thing, you end up being able to get $30k back
If I wanted that stupid looking car, I'd be overjoyed too. Especially if I think I can return it again and get it even cheaper
Tesla: Due to the attacks on our dealerships and stock, we currently only have refurbished cybertrucks to offer. Here is one which has the panels reattached. It's just like it came out of the factory.
Customer: wasn't that mine that I just returned?
Tesla: yeah but this time we used gorilla glue. Please ignore the finger prints and hairs that got stuck to it. We let Elon's kid stick them back on for a photo op. He only got his hand stuck 5 times.
Tesla: alternatively we've got this one going cheap. It only has one swastika painted on the side that we couldn't get off, otherwise it's brand new.
It's a hot deal. Like, no really, someone needs to put out the fire from that Molotov cocktail... Fucking Patriotism throwing our Tesla tea into the bay.
...but they're ALL defective
Shhhh, sh sh sh. This is a learning moment.
Why anyone would want a Swastikar for any amount of money is beyond my understanding.
That’s the make, not the model. I know people who have been plenty happy with their Swasticar Model 3.
Why you would want a Swasticar Deplorean though is completely beyond me.
It evolved to swatikkkar recently.
Wait... Why buy another Tesla?
So he skipped shorting TSLA and just shorted the actual Swastikar instead?
Stories like Reid Tomasko’s - and others who’ve had Tesla buy back their defective Cybertrucks - highlight how the EV ownership journey can take unexpected turns.
I wish they wouldn't conflate these dumpsters with EVs as a whole.
This happened to me with Sennheiser headphones. They broke, and I returned them. They by now had become the old model which was sold out. So they gave me a gift card which allowed me to buy new model for a price lower than my initial purchase. Gotta love those warranty laws.
This is a good allegory for what's happening to the stock market now and how the billionaires are profiting immensely.
Kinda fucked the author didn't make that connection.
They all should have sold them back after the first Nazi salute, and made it abundantly clear why they were doing so, if you ask me.
I hope the next one explodes on him
This happened to me with cyberpunk
this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
509 points (100.0% liked)
Not The Onion
16253 readers
332 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS