500g lean mince (lamb or chicken works well-beef/pork can be a bit too fatty and go rancid), 300g rolled oats or oatmeal, 1 375g jar peanut butter, 1 tablespoon salt and 1 tablespoon kelp powder (optional). Mix well, and chill in the fridge for 1 hour. Dough will become quite squishy then firm up as it chills. If its too squishy after chilling, mix in more oats. Form into thumblike logs or roll out to 1/2 cm thick and cut bikkie shapes of your choice. Gingerbread men work well, but any shape that's not too pointy will do. I used to make deep indents to make it easier to break into pieces. Bake at about 150 degrees C on a parchment lined tray for about 1 hour until thoroughly dried out and crunchy. Might take longer depending on how mushy the mince is, and logs take a bit longer. Logs should snap when bent not go bendy. Store in an airtight tin out of the fridge for up to 2 weeks if kept dry and cool. This mixture makes a couple of dozen bikkies or a dozen or so logs. Can be re-baked in a low oven if they go limp with storage.

Gimme the proper pho with all the gnarly bits please

Meat meat meat meat and some potat please

And it arrived warm and unmolested?