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What are your thoughts on paternity leave? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 2 months ago by neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I've told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.

Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I've heard stuff like "Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don't take leave".

To me it was a no brainer, I'm getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn't taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.

I'm in the US so I know it's a "strange" concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn't affect at all. Again, it's a state program available to almost anyone who's worked in the past 2 years, I've talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that's it.

I feel like I'm missing something.

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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Not sure what this post is about, OP... What are you actually asking?

Paternity leave is obviously vital if you're a decent parent and partner. If you have it available you take it and you focus on your family. Your mentioned group of coworkers sound like fucking degenerate scumbags stuck on a pointless treadmill. I feel sorry for their partners and their children.

You should take some time to consider why you didn't have a visceral reaction of outright disgust and had to come here and ask for others to chime in. Tune in, bud. It's all about your kids now. Don't look for worthless approval from worthless people.

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[-] blady_blah@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I scheduled two weeks off for the birth of my first child. Not paternity leave, just vacation time. My wife became a SAHM a few months before. I was bored and went back to work after 1 week. I couldn't imagine 12 weeks.

The kid is just not doing that much. Feed, poop, change, sleep. And the child doesn't recognize you at that stage. It's all stimulus response. If he was crying and I picked him up, he didn't care. I got zero emotional reward for the interaction with the child. Emotional bonding all happened around 3 months old and beyond. Before that the benefit was more in the shared experience with my wife of learning how to take care of a newborn. But really, it's not that hard, and after one week it was old hat.

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[-] Solocore@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Yeah we haven't in Australia, seen people take it , it's a great idea

[-] OccamsRazer@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Make it a year of pto, and you get to spend that time over the next 18 years. I'd happily take a week after birth and then more time off later as they get older.

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this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025

534 points (100.0% liked)

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