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What are your thoughts on paternity leave? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 day ago by neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I'm about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I've told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.

Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I've heard stuff like "Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don't take leave".

To me it was a no brainer, I'm getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn't taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.

I'm in the US so I know it's a "strange" concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn't affect at all. Again, it's a state program available to almost anyone who's worked in the past 2 years, I've talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that's it.

I feel like I'm missing something.

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[-] blady_blah@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

I scheduled two weeks off for the birth of my first child. Not paternity leave, just vacation time. My wife became a SAHM a few months before. I was bored and went back to work after 1 week. I couldn't imagine 12 weeks.

The kid is just not doing that much. Feed, poop, change, sleep. And the child doesn't recognize you at that stage. It's all stimulus response. If he was crying and I picked him up, he didn't care. I got zero emotional reward for the interaction with the child. Emotional bonding all happened around 3 months old and beyond. Before that the benefit was more in the shared experience with my wife of learning how to take care of a newborn. But really, it's not that hard, and after one week it was old hat.

[-] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 3 points 18 hours ago

Yeah best to just leave your partner to deal with the boring newborn lol /s

[-] blady_blah@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

You think I didn't ask her if she wanted help and make the decision with her? She's a strong woman and perfectly capable of speaking for her self. Her parents were also over and her mom was helping out. But the reality was that she was fine on her own. That was 18 years ago and the first of three kids. She'd tell you the same thing.

this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025

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