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submitted 1 week ago by SpaceFox@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

For me it was the fact that I would always be slower than everyone else and I would have to put in twice the effort.

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[-] Anissem@lemmy.ml 58 points 1 week ago

People are disappointing, even family

[-] kobra@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago

Disappointing doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word.

[-] Anissem@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

How about disgustipated?

[-] Elaine@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago

I feel this in my soul unfortunately. Learned some wild stuff about my family not too long ago and it’s hard to reconcile things now.

[-] Anissem@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago

Same, not recent but I have a long list of eye opening facts I’ve collected throughout my life. Eventually you just accept it all. It’s not been easy to get to this point, it took a lot of mental anguish to get this numb to it all.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Blood doesn’t make someone family; the bonds we form with someone make them family.

[-] tiefling 23 points 1 week ago

That America is a failed country, and there's no point to staying and fighting if I can get out

[-] davidgro@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I really wish I had a feasible way out.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago
  1. People die unexpectedly. Tell anyone and everyone that you love verbally that you love them (even if it’s man to man). Don’t leave anyone guessing as to how you felt about them.

  2. Not everyone is a friend for life, even if you’ve been friends for 5/10/20/40/80 years.

  3. People change and you can’t control that.

  4. Recording the people you love speaking; preferably while you ask them about their lives. See #1

[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Would really suck to be betrayed after eighty years of friendship.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Yes.

Not on that level but I’ve lost a friend because we were both a little stubborn. I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t handle the situation well (granted, we were all drunk).

But, that friend also needs to acknowledge that they too did not handle what happened in the best way and not double down by threatening to sue other friends that were at the event for a orior year’s issue.

It’s a giant mess. The last thing I told them ~2.6 years ago was that this didn’t have to be a friendship ending event. And here we are; haven’t spoken since then. Some days I miss them and other days I wonder if I’m better off without them and the energy they bring.

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[-] Inf_V@kbin.earth 21 points 1 week ago

probably that the majority of people are self serving and extremely fake. it's pretty insane how many "activists" there are that hate the people they supposedly want to protect.

[-] ghostrider2112@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Good observation. At least with some of the more rational Republicans that I have conversed with over the years in the US, that has been one of their complaints with people on the left. That is where some of them come up with “nanny state” (setting aside that they have dozens of other ways they would love to create a nanny state themselves).

[-] lath@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That happens because it's a social act. People who don't want to, but have to due to some sort of obligation or as an indirect action towards achieving something else.

Activism is a chore they have to do, so without people in charge sincere in what they do and aware of this type of obligation, any attempt at serious activism will end up half-baked and likely to do more harm than good.

It's tough to find people who do something for the sake of it and not as a springboard meant to pursue other interests.

[-] lordnikon@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

It's that i won't be having a long full life like my parents and I will have a much suffering up to my painful death.

[-] Elaine@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago
[-] golden_zealot@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Here's to you, Nicolo and Bart,

Rest forever, here in our hearts,

The last and final moment is yours,

And agony is your triumph

[-] Kurtagag@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago

I'll never be the same again after my brain injury.

In some ways thats a good thing but Im not 100# sure I'll get all the walking stuff back exactly

[-] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

The fact I don't have chocolate right now

[-] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

It is very hard and sad, knowing my house has no easily consumed chocolate.

I could make some chocolate peppermint crinkle cookies but that would take awhile... why can't chocolate just appear next to me right next to my drink! Alas.

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[-] 000999@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

If I have chocolate it's usually for a very short period of time

[-] RandomVideos@programming.dev 14 points 1 week ago

That i wasnt born the opposite gender and that i was born in a transphobic country

[-] SomGye@dormi.zone 14 points 1 week ago

Realizing that I'll never be able to achieve any of my previous hopes or "dreams", it's too late, and that life is fundamentally uneven and unfair.
Similarly, realizing there's no sense of "karma" or balance in real life, it's just a crutch that people can use to justify or rationalize things.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They never loved me and I'll be ok without them

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Lemmy loves you.

That misinformation is too hard to fight.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

i'm convinced that calling it misinformation is part of the problem.

misinformation is the proper word for it, but the word carries with it the connotation that it's intentional or ill willed; so misinformation that doesn't seem to have either are given a pass.

for example: take the piece of misinformation that you shouldn't go swimming 30 minutes after you've eaten; it's misinformation like any other but allowed to perpetuate because it doesn't seem ill willed or intentional.

that means that any misinformation that seems innocent is allowed to perpetuate and that's how propaganda takes hold; repeat it enough times and it seems like an established & unquestionable fact and, therefore, innocent, so it flies under the rather and keeps getting perpetuated as fact like the misinformation with swimming & eating

I'm more struggling with the intentional and ill-willed type.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

and you'll forever be struggling with it because that type is impossible to distinguish from the other type if you don't have the right frame of reference to detect it.

your experience with eating and swimming gives you a frame of reference that lets you detect that swimming less than 30 minutes after eating is bullshit, so you're able to recognize it as the misinformation that it is and having a proper frame of reference like this is the only way to combat any misinformation.

it's impossible for anyone to have a frame of reference so broad that they can detect all misinformation; not even a group of people can either. becoming something of an expert on the subject of the misinformation is the only thing you can to do help it and, even then, being an expert is relative.

instead, you have to see misinformation as weeds in a mental garden that you will forever have to keep maintaining for your entire life; more weeds will always find their way into your garden and it's up to you to keep clearing them out so that your flowers can shine through and recognize when the flowers you've chosen are the wrong ones for the garden.

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[-] Tupper@reddthat.com 12 points 1 week ago

Loss of friendships can be the result of very minor events that triggered someone or were not communicated well. This does not mean that anyone is necessarily “bad” or lacks care for the world. That can be true but it is not always true. The hardest thing to come to terms with is that despite the above in many cases there is no way back to friendship with that person

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[-] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

That ultimately, no matter how many people I surround myself with, I will always feel alone.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

It might be time to talk to a professional about that.

[-] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

Tuesday, actually. Really.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Good and I’m/we’re here to talk if you need it.

Seriously.

I won’t be a father and possibly not even an uncle.

[-] NeedyPlatter@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago

I relate to your situation OP.

I have ADHD and I think the hardest part about living with it is coming to terms to the fact that I'll have to constantly put in more effort to meet the neurotypical standards for school and work. It's exhausting to have to mange my symptoms in a world where every task throughout my day is designed to be preformed within a set time frame and getting off-track, even for a little while, even if it's unintentional is seen as incompetence. I struggle to be able to let myself relax especially when I'm overstimulated due to this. Luckily, my country is pretty progressive and workplaces are schools are required to provide accommodations but unfortunately, that doesn't mean that everyone will take my needs seriously.

[-] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Let me tell you a short story about Kevin.

He had the same realization, so he went to trade school to avoid the parts of education that involved a lot of studying in the traditional sense. So he ended up as a decent welder.

Fast forward a few "normal" jobs where he couldn't quite fit because of the everyday drudgery of working either as a maintenance man or a factory worker, doing the same things over and over: He ended up applying to a job where the tag line was basically "no days are the same"

He started working with sea fastening. You know those ships with a large superstructure in front of a completely flat back deck? His employer was in charge of all sorts of fittings and welds onboard ships so that containerized systems could be easily mounted in a secure manner.

And said company was usually contracted by my former AND current employer to do the sea fastening aspect of mobilization.

And yes, Kevin is a real person. And as soon as I see his name on the personnel list, I know it's all going to go well and be a lot of fun while we're at it. Kevin and I have been drunk on all continents together. (Well, except from Antarctica... so far). Be it occupying a Texas BBQ joint for an entire day while doing the layout planning from there, or chilling (literally) in a Singapore pool after a long days work.

Oh yes, ADHD.... he mentioned that he probably wouldn't have ended up where he was without it. I'm not saying his situation is universally transferable, but it's all about finding ones element.

His only ADHD-related failing that I've noticed is that he usually struggles with airports. But that's fine - we usually park our asses in a quiet airport lounge anyway.

[-] NeedyPlatter@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

I'm looking into doing something similar to Kevin, I want a job that's more flexible but I'm worried that jobs like that won't pay great. I settled on becoming an ultrasound tech because the college program incorporates a lot of hands on training, considering it's in the medical field it's a well paying and secure job. But, I do wonder if it's truly right more me sometimes...

[-] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

A flexible job is one thing. But a job that requires a flexible person is something else entirely. Kevin is paid quite handsomely for his willingness to pack his gear and fly halfway around the world to do his thing on short notice.

[-] grue@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I suspect that for every ADHD person like Kevin, there are a dozen struggling because they can't find the right job (probably not least because the act of job-hunting is itself terrible for people with ADHD).

[-] venotic@kbin.melroy.org 9 points 1 week ago

Knowing the people who I ideally want to date or would have a better chance of dating, will forever be out of my reach because of missed opportunities in the past. For example, there's a couple of friends I know I would've loved to date. One of them I could've had but nobody said anything to eachother and it had been 14 years ago when that chance came and went. We just mesh well together and can go the distance when it comes to conversing and getting along. But, I'm forever friend-zoned because nobody said anything when emotions were high back then.

And another thing is accepting the fact that you aren't as compatible with some of your friends when you thought you were. The painful part is realizing this after so long. I had a massive friend exodus last year. I've lost friends whom I've been with for 15 years, 10 years, 5 years and 3 years in that order. And it was simply because at somepoint, we just ignored the part where we weren't as heavily compatible as we once were. And it showed the more times we were at odds with eachother. Hell, I lost another friend this year who I had hit it off well for 3 going 4 years and it's the same example.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

“Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant, did you ever notice that?”

Stephen King

[-] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I'll probably die a virgin. They won't be able to come up with a movie about that. Lame.

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 7 points 1 week ago

I suffer from combined anxiety, agoraphobia, and panic attacks. Going for a walk is a nice and relaxing thing for most people, but for me it's a battle from start to finish. I can't be too far from a "safe" place, like my house or my car, or I begin to have panic attacks.

I've had to come to terms with the fact that the outdoors are difficult for me and I have to constantly go against my instincts and force myself outside.

[-] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

At least you seem to have self awareness and insight, which is more than most people.

[-] lena@gregtech.eu 5 points 1 week ago

That I will never, no matter what I do or how hard I try, be cis. I will have to go through stuff cis women would never even think about. I saw a great video on YouTube about this but I can't find it right now.

[-] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

That I was being complacent to support animal cruelty just because I liked egg salad and cream cheese.

I was vegetarian for 7 years. I thought that only obvious things like meat and leather involved animal cruelty.

I was very wrong. And when people showed me I was wrong, I took a good while to process it. “But the cow needs to be alive for milk. But the chicken needs to be alive for eggs. Surely it’s not THAT bad”.

It’s a lot worse than that bad. Once it fully got through my skull just what kind of cruel practices were involved, not by choice l, but by industry NECESSITY, with the animal products that felt safe, I broke down crying while I was trying to reconcile the fact that I was letting my taste buds drive me to support terrible things.

I did finally quit. These days I don’t really miss much, food wise. And life lesson wise, it helps enable me to be a less unethical consumer. A store/product is involved with something morally terrible, like donating a lot of money to fascism? Welp, bye! No more money for you from me!

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[-] eightpix@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That a bunch of barbarians from north and western Europe whose primary values were ownership, sequestration, exploitation, and domination set the political, economic, social, and psychological agenda for an entire planet. True, this may have been the mode of survival from Rome to the Renaissance, but why are we still locked into it now?

The next part of this comment includes crude generalizations of 1st to 18th century for every continent. Historians, feel free to clarify. Ahistorical boobs, at least be willing to ask questions before you attack.

Turtle Island sustainability and oral history, Asian cosmic coexistence, Middle Eastern knowledge preservation, African social development, East Asian detente, Australo-Pacific deep time and vast exploration, and/or panhumanistic duty to family — no. Every other culture and value system expressed by non-Europeans was summarily suppressed, violently undercut, and disregarded as backward, non-Christian drivel. This continues into today.

Gangsters, germ warfare, rapid industrialization — yes. Every means of short-term gain, power concentration, expansionism, and advantage-taking is normal. Inter- and sometimes intra-familial feuding, marriage pacts, and warmongering is normal.

Sometimes, it seems that almost ANY other system than the one we have now — centered on wealth and weapons — would be an improvement. However, ever other system can not contend with the threats of wealth and weapons.

[-] AtariDump@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

TL;DR

I’m frustrated that European values of ownership, exploitation, and domination have dominated the world, suppressing sustainable and diverse systems from other cultures (like Indigenous, Asian, and African traditions). These exploitative systems, focused on short-term gain and power, still shape our world today. I wonder why we’re stuck in this destructive framework and think almost any other system might be better—though none seem able to challenge the current dominance of wealth and weapons.

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this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2025
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