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[-] TrismegistusMx@lemmy.world 241 points 1 year ago

Fruits that fall off the tree ferment and make alcohol. Monkeys, apes, and other animals eat them for the alcoholic effect.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 64 points 1 year ago

God didn't make those. Wait. Shit.

[-] asdfasdfasdf@lemmy.world 83 points 1 year ago

They were manufactured by fallen fruit.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 21 points 1 year ago

So perfect.

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[-] teft@startrek.website 41 points 1 year ago

Birds get drunk off fermented berries. And it's the funniest shit you will ever watch. Well...until you find out that drunk birds crash into windows a lot.

[-] DarthNinja@sh.itjust.works 33 points 1 year ago

This is the main reason birds have a hard time getting a driver's license

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[-] fidodo@lemm.ee 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If anything, God made alcohol incredibly prevalent and easy to discover and produce

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[-] joneskind@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

It makes sense if you believe in science and stuff, but if you were a true Christian you would know that holly sweet Jesus of America turned water into wine, which has nothing to do with alcohol. It is His sacred blood that for some reason also tastes like old grape juice. Don’t judge me and make your own research.

Thoughts and prayers, libtard!

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[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 16 points 1 year ago

And that’s not even to mention all the psychoactive plants out there. The Earth makes many a mind-altering substance without the help of man.

[-] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 119 points 1 year ago

There is an old Disney documentary called “Animals are Beautiful People”. There is a segment of the movie dedicated to showing how monkeys, elephants, giraffes, and other animals can get shitfaced off rotten fruit.

[-] Rozauhtuno 69 points 1 year ago

Some birds also intentionally make fruit ferment and then get shit-faced off of it. Humans are hardly the first species on this planet to make booze.

[-] grayman@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Some birds eat spicey chilis because it makes them hallucinate and get high.

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[-] Venutianxspring@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 year ago

There's a type of lemur that gets hammered by stimulating a poisonous millipede and ingesting it's poison.

[-] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

which millipede though, i dont want to spend ages milking a bunch of millipedes

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[-] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 year ago

Someone posted that clip before midsummer and I still chuckle at one of the replies. Something like "I'm laughing at the dumb hangover animals even though I know for a fact I'll be in the same state tomorrow".

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[-] Spike@feddit.de 76 points 1 year ago

So Jesus is a "fallen man", ok.

[-] sheilzy@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

He also only turned the water into wine because his mother nagged him to do it. Two of the people thought to be the most perfect and infallible in Christian tradition are actually fallen people. I think it's pretty noble to abstain from alcohol or other addictions but the way this guy does it is so belittling.

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[-] IvanOverdrive@lemm.ee 72 points 1 year ago

We had a tree with some sort of red berries on it. Every autumn birds would have a bird party getting drunk off the fermented berries. Alcohol appears in nature all the fucking time

[-] reverendsteveii@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

Homebrewer/fermenter checking in. Yeast is everywhere. Its already on everything. To an extent where homebrewing has a special category called wild or spontaneous fermentation specifically for stuff made just by letting wild yeast settle on it and start going to town. Which is to say that if you're a bit lucky the only thing you need in order for wine to happen is fruit. Do you know how you make a fermented pepper sauce? Kim chi? Sauerkraut? You just need whatever it is you're trying to ferment, and some salt. That's it. The fermentation will just happen. Some small amount of alcohol will just happen.

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[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

There's literally a nebula out there that is almost pure ethanol that tastes of raspberry. I've no clue how we figured out what it would taste like, but there is literally enough alcohol there to keep the next 500 generations of humans perpetually shit faced even with the population boom that would occur.

I refer to it as "God's Distillery."

[-] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 14 points 1 year ago

Infrared light gets absorbed by organic molecules at specific wavelengths depending on what structure they have. So we can look at IR light that has passed through the nebula to see what molecules are in it. The first article I saw said the cloud has ethyl formate which apparently has a raspberry like flavor.

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[-] Dick_Justice@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago

I went to a church when I was a kid that taught that wine was completely non-alcoholic in biblical times.

[-] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago

Remarkable how ignorant of their own bible the teetotalling Christians are. Without refrigeration grape juice becomes unsafe to drink quickly. Fermenting it was the only way it would keep. Also in 1 Tim 3:8 mentions to not have men as deacons if they're "addicted to much wine", clearly showing this was not grape juice they're talking about.

[-] Windex007@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago

It's even more directly stated, and specifically about the wine Jesus made. After he turned water into wine, the guests were specifically remarking that hosts generally feed their guests good wine early in the night and pull out cheaper wine after the guests are drunk and can't tell the difference... But in this case they saved the best for last.

This is great because it also is a counter point to the argument that some preachers say to the youth about it being DRUNKENNESS that god doesn't like.

Nope, not intrinsically, because Jesus lit up a party full of ALREADY drunk people with more booze.

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[-] Bunnylux@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

Hahahahahhahha

[-] zepheriths@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

For anyone that doesnt know, humans have evolved a significant tolerance to alcohol because it does infact exist in nature in rotting fruit (you take what you can in 400000 bc) there are reports of moose losing it after only a few fermented Apples. And Elephant reportedly can get deliriously drunk off of a single beer.

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[-] Fades@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

cue the morons trying to say it was just grape juice

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[-] Pandantic@midwest.social 31 points 1 year ago

Yea fuck the Catholics in particular, drinking all that wine like it’s the “blood of Christ”. Like Christ would ever touch alcohol!

[-] schema@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

I think the beer brewing monasteries didn't get the memo.

[-] iminahurry@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 year ago

The earth has never produced a single drop of alcohol

Oh boy, do I have news for you!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_wine

Granted it's not produced in the tree, but it's basically alcohol by the time people take the sap container off the tree, no human intervention needed.

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[-] senoro@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

Wait until he finds out that humans have been drinking alcohol recreationally for at least 8000 years. I reckon heaven would be really rather empty if only people who never drank any alcohol were allowed in

[-] keen1320@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

First you have to convince him that the earth is more than 8000 years old.

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago

I hope he posted that on naturally occurring social media sites, not the kind created and run by fallen men, because the earth has never produced a single social media site.

[-] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

If God didn't create alcohol, then why does booze taste so good? Checkmate, Tiff.

[-] u202307011927@feddit.de 16 points 1 year ago

Bruh moment.

If it's impossible by nature then how could we accomplish it

He must have skipped homework numerous times in his holy book.

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[-] negativeyoda@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Jokes on you: evangelicals only read the old testament

[-] Siegfried@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Psalm 104, 14:15 (while enumerating the great things God gave us)

[14] He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for people to cultivate— bringing forth food from the earth: [15] wine that gladdens human hearts, oil to make their faces shine, and bread that sustains their hearts.

Inb4, we are using oil the wrong way

[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
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[-] Omniraptor 14 points 1 year ago

The reader suggested context blurb is the best thing to ever happen to Twitter

[-] Poppa_Mo@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Should introduce this guy to the raccoons that get drunk and fat from the apples that ferment after falling off our tree.

[-] Leap@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago
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[-] Lightor@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

John 2:1-11 New International Version

Jesus Changes Water Into Wine

2 On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, 2 and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

4 “Woman,[a] why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My hour has not yet come.”

5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

6 Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.[b]

7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.

8 Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

11 What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

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[-] dipshit@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Like when a fallen man (Jesus) turned water into wine. Good story, kid.

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
976 points (100.0% liked)

Confidently Incorrect

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When people are way too smug about their wrong answer.

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