88
Sells ~~drugs~~ herbs and potions
At first he was cool and would wash people's cars and picking up animal poop from yards. But it turns out he wasn't helpful. He was gathering materials and was stealing polluted dirt, piles of shit, and anything else he could find into grotesque golems that roam town and do his bidding. It's unbearable to go to the market for some bread and milk only to discover the waste elemental made of animated shit and cigarette butts is there to get groceries for him. It's a fucking nightmare and it makes me want to wear anti magic pendants to fuck up his errands - but that leaves behind unanimated filth that has to be moved by us mundanes. It's so one sided it's like tyranny.
Two birds, one stone. You have the cleanest town in the area for free, and he gets his groceries done. Do you know how many towns would kill for that?
I haven't seen him all week because he's been pondering his orb.
Unfreeze self checkouts
Oh def. Mine waves a fob and then hits some numbers, and usually waives whatever didn't get scanned properly.
Shudders in visual source safe.
He arrives neither early or late, but precisely when he means to.
I'm getting sick of that excuse, Gandalf!
He’s SUCH a flake!
If only... I'm constantly late.
... except to parties since they don't start until I arrive.
Crack
Ours speaks in riddles but I'm really bad at riddles so I'm still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.
He just walks by, suddenly.
Casting his shadow, weaving his spell
Put his dick in my ass.
I wish to take council with this fellow practitioner of the magical arts.
Is it icy and refreshing?
I make my switch run android and summon demons by not getting enough sleep
presumably when they're in sub mode?
He walks among us like anyone else, but when an opportunity comes along, he puts on his robe and wizard hat.
I maintain the balance of the spheres, put pride into the hearts of gender bendy men with my badass skirts, and keep the database server up.
this man has smoked a crab just now
He summons drinks and snacks.
I didn't know but there is this guy called Jaque in Spain who is pretty good with coin magic
Boloo cheated, he wasn't even part of the fight and came once the others were already broken!
Totally justified punishment for magic doping. There is supposed to be honor and respect to a proper wizard fistfight!
Though the Wizard world has some... Problems
this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2025
88 points (100.0% liked)
Asklemmy
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