416
What if space drugs are like catnip and it gets the aliens high but does nothing for humans?
There's an 80's movie with a plot like that, the aliens integrate wholly into society and a secret cabal plans to enslave them because laundry soap is like supercrack to them.
I’m just thinking of Alien Nation, with organ meat being a favourite of the aliens, and getting drunk on sour milk.
Alien Nation?
I loved those movies and the show when I was a kid. They got drunk drinking curdled milk.
But catnip does have some effect, just none of the downsides of a full drug
What if space drugs are all the fun and none of the bad for humans?
“Yeah, but you guys can’t access dimension 6-9 simultaneously like we can, so it effectively doesn’t exist for you. Sorry, bud. If your own species’ genitalia are insufficient for copulation, have you considered those of your… (checks info-shard) sheep? They seem to be rather accommodating.”
"Aye laddae dae doan caul meh Queue-manderrrrr (roll the r) MacLambshags ferrr nuh'in!"
Arirals. Literally
Boy what a rabbit hole I just went down
Aliens: "shit out of luck...now take me to your dealer!"
ESPECIALLY space heroin…
Ah, I knew I'd find someone with real class in here somewhere
You want to go home and rethink your life
after you get the space drugs
you don't want to sell me death sticks
Turns out everything humans need to live on is like hard spice for every other species
US gov 15 minutes later: "So anyways we're going to fund NASA with 3 trillion dollars, because....sciencey reasons! Absolutely NOT to get rich selling water to aliens at a ridiculous markup"
Nestle intensifies
Water? I think aliens can find plenty of that anywhere in the galaxy. There are whole clouds of water vapor, as well as asteroids, planets and moons throughout with lots of ice in space that have as much or more water as we do.
Aliens would be looking for exotic things like the proteins and amino acids in our biology .... they'd want to be harvesting us, the animals and plants for specialty parts and building blocks.
You bet some scientist first question would be "How do you all fuck?" and that would be a legit question.
That's exactly my cousin!!
Shows up for a dispensary, walks away from a colonoscopy.
Give me a cup of Mek anyday
If they started raining down as much free insulin and chemotherapy drugs as we asked for, how long would it be before an American pharma company tried to nuke them?
“No, sorry, we have only the shit we brought from our home planet. What good is keeping drugs in space, besides irradiating them to the point of being radioactive, and thus completely unusable? You guys are fuckin weird, yo.”
this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
416 points (100.0% liked)
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