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I was kicked out of rentals multiple times for being visibly queer. I was scared out of some more by people who even moved after me, but made my life a living hell just for being queer. I was driven into near daily crying during highschool by my peers and sometimes even teachers. I was regularly spat on in public with no reaction from other people. I had a car full of tank top wearing men stop with the intention of beating me up when I was in middle school because they thought I looked too much like a "f*g". To see people, some of whom apparently so privileged they don't even experience systematic queerphobia as per own admission, claim us here aren't queer is so hurtful because it feels like it dismisses my entire lifetime of queer pain. Sincere fuck you to the people who make those claims. Maybe you are the one who isn't even queer and just sows discord amogus. trans-uno amogus

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[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 137 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I saw that comment while lurking.

Ngl seeing the meltdown, raging chauvinism and ignorance around minority struggle/liberalism/weird NATO stanning over there kinda informed my decision to make an account here.

I've tried a few trans spaces in the past both irl and online that I ended up leaving because of THAT energy.

Besides you lot seem to be the most trans supportive instance (nobody is erasing people's queerness here because they got confronted on their idiocy) and are actually politically/economically/historically literate.

If I had a comically large newspaper I'd hit them with it is what I'm saying.

Hello everyone 👋

Hope you feel better soon OP meow-hug

[-] motherfucker@hexbear.net 71 points 2 years ago

Besides you lot seem to be the most trans supportive instance (nobody is erasing people's queerness here because they got confronted on their idiocy)

We had an early struggle session about whether or not it was okay to misgender Caitlyn Jenner for being a reactionary piece of shit. In true tankie fashion, dissenters were purged. trans-hammer-sickle (I’m an anarchist btw)

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 60 points 2 years ago

Omg you have purges too?!

Wow you really have everything here 😍

Nice to meet you comrade 🥰 loving the left unity here btw, very based and not cringe.

[-] silent_water@hexbear.net 74 points 2 years ago

we purged a significant proportion of the site's userbase about 6 months after launch because they couldn't shut the fuck up about pronoun tags lmao

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 66 points 2 years ago

Lmao pronouns are ALWAYS an easy litmus test for rooting out dickheads. Its like a moth to flame for reactionaries.

[-] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 72 points 2 years ago

We used to have downvotes until reactionaries used them to mass downvote trans users and coming out threads so that they weren't visible, then the mods revealed that they could track downvotes and banned all the reactionaries downvoting trans threads at the same time and pit guys were malding

[-] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 59 points 2 years ago

That was such a beautiful moment to watch unfold we love our modsmeow-melt

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[-] silent_water@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago

I never expected it to be so unreasonably effective at rooting out reactionaries in a revolutionary leftist website stfu-terf

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

They literally can't help themselves.

Also me about to address reactionary takes: chair-stomp

[-] Hatandwatch@hexbear.net 54 points 2 years ago

Sorry, only comically large spoons are available for discipline. Get to it comrade. stalin-spoon stalin-gun-2

[-] Tastysnack@hexbear.net 51 points 2 years ago

I accept my comically large spoon with honour comrade. stalin-spoon

Now if you'd be so kind as to direct me to the village toothbrush?

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[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

Yay new friend! Hoping that if defederation does happen some of the other cool people over there, however many they are, decide to make the same switch. Liberal queer people just depress me. I sort of get psychologically how one can get temporarily attached to the idea that the only salvation for queer people is the Democratic party (or whatever the equivalent in their country is). But the reality is, like i posted elsewhere, there is no queer liberation under capitalism. And NATO and neoimperliasm in general uphold the neoliberal capitalist world order.

Welcome, comrade.

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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
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[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 90 points 2 years ago

Yeah it's incredibly awful. Why the fuck would anyone say that?

You think people here have been secretly pretending to be queer for THREE FUCKING YEARS just to infiltrate your new queer space? Come on. The left has been doing queer politics a hell of a lot longer than liberals have.

Be gay. Do crime.

[-] forcequit@hexbear.net 90 points 2 years ago

assimilationist queers are not your friend, tokenizing yourself to appease your oppressor does nothing but harm your community.

[-] mar_k@hexbear.net 88 points 2 years ago

it also just straight up makes no sense. hexbear has had a queer majority long before federating with anyone. we were posting about being trans and gay for 3 years to trick who exactly?

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 60 points 2 years ago

literally before some of these people knew what lemmy is, and if theyre young enough (which is likely given its 196), probably before they even knew they were queer

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[-] nocages@hexbear.net 85 points 2 years ago

It's because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

Of course "nobody" uses neopronouns in general society. We all know what would happen if we did. Shame, ridicule, and violence would follow. And we're very attuned to reading online spaces for transphobia as well. Despite what a lot of people would like to think, many online queer spaces are NOT inclusive and safe.

I was an old-school redditor, and I browsed the trans subs for a few months. I saw so much hatred there. The general spaces erased all identities that didn't fit the "mtf" experience, so the trans men stayed away in their own space. Both their space and the general ones were OPENLY hateful of non-binary people for years.

This is one of the first spaces I've ever seen online that is truly inclusive. The neopronoun options are already there, you don't have to ask for them. Everyone is forced to show their pronouns, none of this "well mine are normal" garbage. There is a culture that promotes repressed voices.

And when some people see this, they can't even fathom it. To them, being "an ally" means allowing trans people to wear a pronoun pin and respecting those pronouns so long as they are "normal" enough, then carrying on with life as normal. If queer discussions ever start taking place in the open, they get uncomfortable because they're not used to it. If someone who uses any pronoun besides they or she or he, they get uncomfortable. This is transphobia. They just don't recognize it as such.

[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 54 points 2 years ago

It's because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

Of course not, why would anybody let rabid transphobes wander into a safe space?

[-] SuperNovaCouchGuy2@hexbear.net 74 points 2 years ago

Lemmy liberals explaining why calling NATO imperialist magically makes you cishet: morshupls

[-] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 73 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

yea these claims are very malicious. their default assumption is that 'this person is tankie therefore not LGBTQ+'.

the default assumption should be to believe that the person is saying they're gay in good faith.

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[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 72 points 2 years ago

The entire "how can you have that many different pronouns" discourse is by far the dumbest thing i've seen since the start of our federation, and it isn't just painfully cringe and ignorant and a clear sign that these people lack any and all experience with queer spaces unless you count r/196 and the trans category on pornhub, it is simply outright, open transphobia to deny peoples' gender identity. That's the very core of transphobic sentiment, to deny us our right to gendered self determination.

It's sad to see these reactionaries have now also extended their attacks to other parts of the queer community, but it isn't surprising. These people always start with what they perceive to be the easy targets, but it's part and parcel of reactionary persecution campaigns to expand the outgropups they go after. This, besides the moral imperative of solidarity, is the strategic reasoning behind "an injury to one of us is an injury to all of us."

We cannot tolerate such attacks on our queer comrades anywhere on lemmy. The perpetrators should be hunted down wherever we find them, and we should make it a cross-instance effort to make lemmy a safer space for queer people, and an extremely unsafe space for queerphobes of all kind. I propose that federated instances share blocklists of queerphobic users so that eventual bans can be extended to other instances preemptively. In a day and age were our community faces the worst attacks since the AIDS pandemic, we must look out for and protect each other.

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 68 points 2 years ago

One guy told me he "doubts any online community would be that gender diverse" which is just a new flavor of the early aughts attitude of "there are no girls on the internet". But yeah its also REALLY telling that they have no interacted with queer communities before. The majority of places I interact online I'm outnumbered as a cis man.

[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

just shows he mostly hangs out in spaces that are openly permissive of transphobia, which unfortunately is most spaces. just hexbear's moderation policy is reason enough we constantly draw in trans people and eggs that will crack shortly.

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[-] Ideology@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago

These people always start with what they perceive to be the easy targets

Just point me at them and I'll go hammarx-guns-blazing

Nobody hurts my trans comrades

[-] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago

Ngl, we need chud hunting licenses for the dunk tank

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[-] ComradeEchidna@hexbear.net 65 points 2 years ago

It is heartening to see in the followup thread they asked us not to participate in that there's a bunch of Blahaj users supporting us and pushing back against stuff like that.

[-] AbbysMuscles@hexbear.net 62 points 2 years ago

My entire family disowned me after I came out. If I hadn't already been working a pretty great job that allowed me to be fully self-sufficient I would've been homeless for sure. And in the time since, I've met some incredible people. I've loved and been loved by, helped and been helped by, and had my world enlarged and enriched by some of the most beautiful people in the world. Anyone who would think to negate that because I would like to see society improved somewhat is welcome to take a short jump into a deep mineshaft.

[-] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 62 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

It is extremely hurtful. I live in fear every day because of homophobia and hate crimes, yet I'm a fake gay because I don't share the same beliefs as a westerner? What the hell?

Do gays in the global south/third world not exist to them? Do I have to become some comparador for the west to be gay? Why would I even do that when South Africa legalised LGBT rights before any of the western nations they are from? Despite all our homophobia and bigotry, we still managed to legalise LGBT rights before them. How does this work. It sounds like they're doing the whole LGBT is western decadence shit, but unironically.

[-] autismdragon@hexbear.net 60 points 2 years ago

There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism.

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[-] LeBron@hexbear.net 58 points 2 years ago

Western ally behavior is so selfish. Once it gets uncomfortable for the "ally" or they have their beliefs challenged, queer people become much less human in their eyes and need to be discredited somehow.

It makes me furious how few online spaces are truly safe for the community, don't doubt that there are tons of cis comrades who see you as completely valid with no strings or nefarious bullshit attached.

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 57 points 2 years ago

I'm still a baby budding imposter feeling queer but fortunately I was also raised a cis het man so when someone tells me that I'm not queer I have the socialized energy to say "how dare you tell me what I'm not!"

How dare anyone tell any of my comrades, queer, trans, or otherwise, what they aren't. You are who you are whoever you are. You're all heckin valid. We're all heckin valid. Send those bad beans to me I'll smash em if they tell you otherwise

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[-] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago

listen jack....errrr you're not queer if you dont vote for me

biden-harbinger

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[-] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 53 points 2 years ago

Yeah fuck blahaj tbh, that thread was depressing to read, there is no benefit to association with those people

[-] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Honestly like I made that big post about cooling it to avoid defederation and while I still think Ada is working in good faith the fucking 196 mod is just a complete radlib "anarcho"-mccarthyist pos, like leaking DMs is such a dick move, I'm kind of split between disliking some of the users for pulling shit like that and a degree of respect for the head mod for trying to build some trans solidarity despite all the shit she's had to put up with from her users and many of the more dunk hungry users on here

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[-] Zuzak@hexbear.net 53 points 2 years ago

It's been removed by the mods now fyi.

[-] Twink@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago

Good, but the people who spread those can make up more shit and rig perceptive with votes. It's highly uncomfortable that such an opinion arised in the first place and didn't warrant much response from their own community, even had a positive vote ratio and AFAIK they do have downbears.

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[-] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 51 points 2 years ago

I love my queer comrades meow-hug

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago

Its kinda fucked they didnt ban that user, maybe theyll get to it

[-] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 48 points 2 years ago

Running into comments like this has been my least favorite part of federation, it's just jarring how open transphobia sits around in other parts of the Internet, and then we're not even allowed to comment on it because its in the meta thread of on blahaj meow-tableflip

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[-] ThereRisesARedStar@hexbear.net 46 points 2 years ago

The one in the new thread was removed but they weren't banned and haven't apologized

[-] ShareThatBread@hexbear.net 44 points 2 years ago

I wouldn’t be too much of a stones throw to say those people are LIBs who have had economic privilege that has negated some of the difficulties other queer people have faced. I say that because why else would they hold on to lib values.

[-] Franzia 43 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

In what I've read (in the newest blahaj thread) our queer solidarity is the most cited reason to keep our communities together. I'm sorry for the unnecessary pain you've been through.

Please stop calling me a lib, that's malarkey. I'm ackshually a bidenomics maga communist [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]

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this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
203 points (100.0% liked)

anti_cishet_aktion

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