Marmite on toast with an obscene amount of ketchup.

...so i grew up with what we called five-way in northern kentucky, and no, it's not cincinnati chili...

• spaghetti
• browned ground beef (or in my case since 1989, vegetarian substitute)
• diced onions (fresh / cold)
• dark red kidney beans (simmered / hot)
• grated cheddar cheese (annatto-colored)
• ketchup

...it's all layered up on a large plate in that order, bottom-to-top so the cheese melts nicely, cut into a grid pattern with a fork and knife, and then mixed together: i don't cook it often since moving out on my own thirty-five years ago but it so hits the spot when i do...

I put ketchup on bread and microwave it

Guacamole with cottage cheese. The Polish side of my family loves it, but I wouldn't dare add it to my guac when making it for the Mexican half of my family.

Variant on your dish: bake sweet potato, add cottage cheese and eat immediately. Add sweet or savory seasonings to taste. It's not something I'd bring to share, but it's definitely not something I'll hide. As far as quick and dirty meals, it's reasonably healthy, and probably not the worst suggestion for someone who struggles to cook for themselves.

Actual goblin food: canned black olives between two slices of bread, smush down to prevent them from rolling out.

Not super common but commen enough and just for a snack, but I like using tortillas if there's no bread in my apartment. I use them for things like peanut butter and mayonnaise wraps and peanut butter and butter wraps.

I also sometimes use tortillas for leftovers in general, depending on the leftovers from the night before. Last time there was leftover homemade mac and cheese and catfish, I heated them and had that wrapped in a plain tortilla with nothing else for breakfast.

I sometimes open a can of vegetables and pour them in my mouth

Cut up tortillas, fry them with some salt, when crispy crack two or three eggs in there and scramble. I grew up eating it and while it is delicious I don't think I would serve it to guests.

Sandines and kraut with mustard and caraway. I only eat it when I'm alone and have time to brush my teeth afterward. So good though and I'm full for hours.

my special treat that my partner hates for me to make but gobbles up bowls of: White Rice, Ground Beef, and Cream of Mushroom soup (campbells can). White rice like you like it, Ground the beef and salt generously after draining grease (helps the beef pop out more in the taste), then I usually do half of the milk called for with the soup.

Bed of RIce in a bowl, ground beef on top, then pour the cream of mushroom soup on it. Such a warm and crazy good taste but I get looks whenever I bring it up so I don't make it that often unless it's just me for a few days.

I made Mac and cheese with Velveeta and ground turkey.

My so called broccoli-potato-gratin with pork neck includes quite an amount of cream, salt, bouillion cubes and cheese. My wife doesn't know and it will stay that way.

Pan-fried canned chick peas with black pepper, butter, oregano, basil, and sometimes paprika, chili powder, and hot sauce if I want some kick.

I cook it when I'm in a rush or tired, it's done in 10-15 minutes, fills me up, and is packed with good protein.

But I would never feed it to anybody else, it's lazy bro/fitness food lol.