A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

And the Lord said, I sent ye a sign. A sign that said evacuate, and ye didn’t listen.

Reminds me of the Parable of the Drowning Man

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

Fewer Republican voters in Florida, got it.

Ok, but when they are standing on their own roofs waving at helicopters, I want rescuers to just wave back. Let their gods come down and risk life and limb to save their stubborn asses.

Good for them and no worries. Anything bad happens to them and we have thoughts and prayers ready and waiting to take care of it.

In Venice, about 40 miles (64km) to the south, Sherry Hall and her family decided to stay in their house several blocks from the ocean, despite many of their neighbors leaving amid warnings of a storm surge up to 15ft. Her husband, Tommy, prepared the property with shutters and sandbags, and she said they had generators, portable air conditioning units, and plenty of water and food to be self-sufficient.

Let me know how well the portable AC & generators work in 15ft of water, Sherry.

One of my good friends lives in Tampa and his mom took the car and bailed while he was taking out the dogs. He's stuck at home this very moment and I only hope he's safe

Why would their god send a murderous hurricane then protect them from it? Feels like mafia tactics to make people rely on it.

P.s. the second 'it' refers to their god

I wonder if they'll ever consider that an almighty god could, you know, NOT send the hurricane instead.

• Has faith in the Lord
• Believes that God saved Trump from assassin's bullet
• Ergo: put Trump in the path of every hurricane, enjoy being protected by proximity.

You don't put God to the test by putting yourself in a dangerous situation and expecting him to just save you from your own stupidity.

I distinctly remember God had Noah build the boat himself...

The biggest problem, 25% (or however many) will survive this and be unharmed. Those are the ones others will hear about because god saved them. It will not matter how many believers died.

William Tokajer, police chief of Holmes Beach, told islanders who planned to stay to write their names, dates of birth and social security numbers on their limbs with Sharpies to help identify their bodies after the storm.

Ooookay, that's super grim.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_drowning_man

William Tokajer, police chief of Holmes Beach, told islanders who planned to stay to write their names, dates of birth and social security numbers on their limbs with Sharpies to help identify their bodies after the storm.

This isn't a new suggestion. I remember this being told to people staying in spite of evac orders for a previous nasty storm, iirc it was Key West hearing it that time. It scared the shit out of some people back then and convinced them to leave, sadly the more times you hear something like that the less impact it has. And your neighbor managed to ride it out last time they said that...

I feel bad for these people because I have a feeling that they are staying not because of religion, politics or any other reason other than ..... they can't afford to do anything else. I know a few people in Florida and from what I've gathered from many people who live down there, life is expensive and it got even more expensive in the past decade.

The Lord also gave ya'll legs and the ability to move... Maybe put a little faith in that, too.

Who sent the hurricane?

Jesus take the wheel!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_drowning_man

Someone better be polishing the Darwin Awards.

"The Lord" is telling you to fucking move. "The Lord" does not reach down from on high.

I sincerely hope that the Lemmy user who said they lived on a sailboat in Florida and were going to ride out the storm is okay.

Well, bless their hearts!