747
submitted 10 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] cybervseas@lemmy.world 59 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Don't give them ideas, HT…

His brother already shared that his "big story" was no one wanted to sit next to Tim on road trips as a child because he used to get car sick.

[-] mipadaitu@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago
[-] cybervseas@lemmy.world 6 points 10 months ago

Edited. Thanks!

[-] doctortran@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

Is that real? That legitimately sounds like an Onion article itself.

[-] cybervseas@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/jeff-walz-tim-walz-brother-carsickness_n_66d8ae04e4b09a3ee66d3568

Walz had implied in his Facebook posts that he had stories suggesting that his younger brother isn’t “the type of character you want making decisions about your future.” But in the segment Wednesday, he admitted to NewsNation that he didn’t have any political bombshells ― just some stomach-turning anecdotes.

“Nobody wanted to sit with him, because he had car sickness and would always throw up on us, that sort of thing,” Walz said. “There’s really nothing else hidden behind there. People are assuming something else. There’s other stories like that, but I think that probably gives you the gist of it.”

[-] doctortran@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

What a weird thing to talk about out loud. That feels like a joke you'd make at Thanksgiving, not publicly in the middle of a vice presidential campaign.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

It’s real. Surprised that didn’t make it to nottheonion right away. Maybe I missed it.

I knew it! Tim Waltz, you're going down.

[-] ech@lemm.ee 48 points 10 months ago

"Bag toss" lol

Satire site doesn't wanna say cornhole?

[-] SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz 61 points 10 months ago

However, the governor will not be apologizing for calling it ‘bags’ instead of ‘cornhole.’”

[-] ech@lemm.ee 14 points 10 months ago

Lol, fair. Didn't click through to read it.

[-] Poot@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 10 months ago

I'm a gay northerner who moved to Georgia many years ago. When one of my co-workers said he was going to go play cornhole with his buddies, I asked if I could come too.

Needless to say, I was terribly disappointed.

[-] doctortran@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

Disappointed because lack of butt stuff, or because cornhole is a really boring game?

I'd believe either.

[-] Poot@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 10 months ago

Lol... Or both :)

[-] ganksy@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

My wife calls it 'bags'. Hung my head low the day I found out.

[-] SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 2 points 10 months ago

I was 35 before I heard it called anything but bags. I only found out it’s called cornhole (because I guess the bags used to be filled with corn?) because I was at a bar, and it was on. On ESPN. That’s also the day I learned ESPN will show just about anything that can be classified as a sport or game when there aren’t major sports events going on.

I laughed for a solid several minutes about it. (Thankfully I was not by myself or I’d have looked like a nutter)

[-] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

Saying pop vs soda can get you killed in some places. This ain't shit.

[-] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It’s addressed in the article but the game has several regional names. Cornhole is one of them.

[-] Drusas@fedia.io 5 points 10 months ago

We all just called it "beanbag toss" when I was a kid, but now people from the area have switched to calling it cornhole.

[-] cybervseas@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

"bag toss" also sounds kind of dirty to me

[-] ech@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago

Hah, kinda.

[-] blusterydayve26@midwest.social 4 points 10 months ago

Fake midwesterners!

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

to be fair, unless you're using corn cobs it ain't really cornhole

[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Growing up in the midwest, we always called it “bean bag toss.” I remember someone calling it “bean bag golf.” shrug

[-] villainy@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

I just assumed some global megacorp had finally managed to get "Cornhole" through the trademark office and started suing everyone into oblivion. Must be time for an internet break to rebalance the pessimism.

[-] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 38 points 10 months ago

I saw the headline, and I automatically assumed that this was an actual "scandal" that Fox News was cooking up.

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It took me way too many bites of this onion to realize what I was eating. Well done.

Conservatism has become identical to parodies of conservatism.

[-] DancingBear@midwest.social 5 points 10 months ago

I got to family bbq and I was like what, why does this even matter…. Yes. Nice job onion

[-] jeff@programming.dev 32 points 10 months ago

Now I finally understand the "both sides are the same" folks

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago

Such a scandal! He must step down now! There can be no compromise on ethics for Democratic candidates!

[-] drolex@sopuli.xyz 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

He inflated the score by 2 points only. What a loser. Well he won, but you know what I mean. Don would have inflated the score by 145 points. He's the best inflater, nobody inflates like he does. He has inflated so much that he had the biggest inflation ever. Ah fuck, you know what I mean.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

No. Do tell.

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 20 points 10 months ago

And Harris still chose him! They are trying to cover up #cornholegate

/S

[-] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 10 months ago

Tim Walz inflated the score of the other team because they weren’t doing so well.

[-] chetradley@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago
[-] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

ParTiCIpaTIOn mEdALS!

[-] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

I'm a Republican that does their Own Research and this article PROVES Tim Walz is a HORRIBLE Person and only TRUMP who had an affair while his Wife was Pregnant is Fit to Lead the Country!

[-] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 10 months ago

I can see it now. Years into the future, a weird Republican coalition in Congress: "But his bag toss!" "Where's Tim's real score?"

As the country burns.

Mother fucker won't get away with this!

[-] dQw4w9WgXcQ@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

Next you're gonna tell me the fish he caught on a fishing trip in '99 was slightly smaller than he described. Outrageous.

[-] nexguy@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

The Onion is fake news! It wasn't Walter Mondale who did the photo op in the tank. It was Michael Dukakis. FAKE NEWS

[-] abbadon420@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

That's it! I'm voting Trump. Where do I register as a Dutch citizen?

[-] Rakonat@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Well that settles it, I'm voting for the Buff.

[-] ensoniqthehedgehog@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago

Bags by itself sounds weird, but beanbags doesn't bother me.

this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
747 points (100.0% liked)

The Onion

6486 readers
919 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS