11

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/38443030

I'm a man in my 40's, moved to a new area and trying to make friends. A guy I've had lunch with a couple of times and we've connected pretty well. I'm not getting disinterested vibes when we're actually at lunch. However, I've invited him to lunch 3 times recently, once each month, and he's not responded. He's responded to other texts. "Hey, I'm going to event XYZ, any advice" and he'd reply. I've run into him at the grocery store twice in that time period and he's been genial. He's never offered/initiated lunch or anything, but that's not new. (No one ever asks me to do things, I'm The Organizer.) I'm getting really, really mixed signals.

How many more times do you try in a situation like this before you "take the hint" and stop?

top 2 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] PlantJam@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Every friendship is different. I have some friends that I only see a couple times a year, but we text every day. Inviting him out once a month isn't excessive at all. Since you're still having other positive interactions, I would just continue inviting him to low pressure things.

Inviting him to group events might be good, too. For example, "I'm going to be hanging out at this place at this time with these people if you want to join."

[-] Ledivin@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago

Maybe he's just busy during lunches 🤷‍♂️ I'd try a different activity and see if you get the same response, but I wouldn't be trying too hard

this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
11 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Men

1258 readers
1 users here now

A community to ask men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.

Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.

Rules

Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.

Additionally:

  1. Be respectful and inclusive.
  2. No harassment, hate speech, or trolling.
  3. Engage in constructive discussions.
  4. Share relevant content.
  5. Follow guidelines and moderators' instructions.
  6. Use appropriate language and tone.
  7. Report violations.
  8. Foster a continuous learning environment.

Notes

P.S, Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS