"Only break one law at a time." None of us are perfect; That will help keep you out of life-changing trouble.
This is the most pragmatic advice I've read that I think might actually be heeded by a young adult.
Start exercising regularly and eating correctly now.
Practise good dental hygiene.
Especially important if you have long canines and an allergy to sunlight, right Buffy?
Drink more water.
Get therapy if you feel there’s even a remote possibility you could benefit from it, especially if you can check anything off the adverse child experience list. The way trauma impacts you and your relationships with everyone else, and even your body, is hard to understand when it’s normal to you.
How did you address your trauma? What methods did you find worked?
Therapy and medication has put me in the best state I’ve been in for basically my entire life. I’m not “cured” or anything, but between the meds and processing a lot of shit in therapy I’m at least better able to cope and interrupt my own negative spirals much more easily.
I’d been doing all the self soothing, meditation, etc techniques that people recommend for decades, and it was really only after dealing with underlying issues in therapy and getting on meds that those things actually started working for me.
I was kind of mad when I realized that because for so many years I thought I just needed to git gud, but it turns out most people can’t hype themselves out of the lingering effects of childhood trauma! Who could have foreseen this 🥴
Worry more about your job than your grades. Create a stable source of income, your degree can wait especially if it's not a traditionally stable profession (medicine, accountant, lawyer, etc).
Exercise and maintain your strength and flexibility. This is super important, more so than the job. Staying healthy early on will save you a lot of money in doctors appointments by the time you hit your late 20s.
Young guys, invest in a good bed. Back pain sucks when you get older, so taking care of your spine early is important. Women are also much more likely to sleep with a guy that has a comfortable and inviting bed.
You're in your bed for around a third of your life. You deserve a good one :)
— Invest at least 10% of your income into the S&P or Large Growth fund – Roth IRA or 401k if you’re still in a low tax bracket (12% here in the states). Raise the contribution percentage as you raise your income. It may not seem like a lot now but 40+ years of compounding interest goes a long way.
— A gambler on a good day will just about break even. The quickest way to do that is simply not to play. Remember when the game is rigged against you, you don’t have to play. The house always wins.
That said, play your own game. If you look at someone else’s and try to play like them you’ll mess up your own. Play your own game in life.
Keep your share of rent between 1/4 and 1/3 of your income, set up passive savings contributions of at least 10% and use a high yield savings account to stave off inflation until you both have 3 months living expenses and understand why the best investment strategies are boring
If you're in university, your desired career and its requirements should determine your major, , not the other way around
I graduated with a bachelor's degree only to realize my career was a dead end because only in my senior year was I informed there's such thing as a "mental health license" for which I was disqualified due to low grades in a non-related class the year prior. Eventually I learned how well blue collar jobs pay (with a lot of job security at that) and got back on my feet working in logistics but I'll never see the 50x return on investments by retirement because "why learn about finances when you can barely pay rent"
It all seems very obvious in hindsight
Don’t go to college. Run away to a country that doesn’t have a US military base and live a simple, happy, peaceful life.
Stop drinking, you'll save so much money and get ripped with barely any effort 💪💪
No one has life figured out. Everyone has the same insecurities, fears, and doubts. Everyone is pretending to know what they're doing at least part of the time.
I have two that I always say:
Take care of your teeth. They’re the only set you get. Also they don’t tell you this when you’re young, but all dental care is either preventative or reactionary. They can’t actually “fix” problems. If you have a cavity, that starts you down a road that ends with a crown or implant. Use any dental insurance you have religiously, pay for a good toothbrush (Oral-B or SoniCare), learn to floss properly and do it all every single day.
Second, save now as much as you are able. If you can adhere to it, look into the 50-30-20 rule. One thing it took me too long to learn is, given an otherwise living income, you won’t miss money you don’t see. When savings is automatically deposited from your paycheck, it’s out of sight and mind.
Lastly, just be yourself, and be a good person to those around you.
Find a skill based hobby that you love and practice it every week. Stuff like a sport, musical instrument, art, etc. The hobby itself will be rewarding but there is no substitute for having decades of experience under your belt for these kind of activities.
Also, don't have children.
Be yourself, even if it means the people in your life currently will hate you. You'll find people who love the real you and you'll be much happier even if it ends up making your life harder.
(this doesn't apply if your real self is a dick, work on that)
I spent my 20s pretending to be the person the people in my life wanted me to be and it was miserable, I'm unapologetically myself in my 30s even if I'm still figuring out who that is. Its so much better and I wish I did it a decade ago.
Get accostumed to eat your veggies, once you hit you 30s your intestine starts revolting if you don't give it healthy food
Realize that one of the main determinants of your lifelong happiness will be your choice of partner.
Don't get too serious with someone that isn't going to elevate you, but also make sure that you're elevating your chosen partner.
Learn a trade
-Life is too short for bad coffee, bad wine, bad shoes and bad people.
-spend the required money in a good bed and a good chair. When it comes down to it later, it is not negotiable for your back.
-you will have to have a lawyer involved sometimes such as drafting up a will. It’s worth it. Also: do your will and sort out your stuff even if you haven’t been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
-clean like you’re moving house once a year. Cut down on the hoarding.
-‘no’ Is a complete sentence.
-sometimes acceptance of a situation is what it is is the only closure you’re ever going to get.
-acknowledge your stuff <—//—> other people’s stuff. Others might not work on their own stuff but they aren’t your job.
-resentment isn’t always something someone gives you nor is it the reality of the situation. Sometimes a person invites it along. Eg: assuming such things as someone being late to dinner is a personalized slight to your energy and time.
-try not to confuse misunderstanding with malice.
-remember the good ones. It’s so easy to just count the nasty people in your life and have them as your comparison for things. Spending your energy this way overlooks all the good people in your life and that’s not fair to them and the effort they put in with you.
If you are still in school, unless you are trying to get into a post graduate school, like law school or med school. Your grades are the least interesting thing about you. Cs get degrees.
Once you're in the world. People care about experience and personality more than straight A's or the deans list.
Don't assume you have to get on the relationship escalator of "dating - exclusive - engaged - married". There are other kinds of relationships, including no romantic/sexual relationships at all. Don't stick with someone who's not making you happy out of inertia or a sense of obligation.
Be social. Don't burn yourself out socializing every night of the week, but if people are inviting you to be a part of their life make a good effort to show up. Video games or YouTube or whatever will always be there. Friends won't. (This assumes the social stuff they're inviting you to isn't , like, insane. Skip on someone inviting you to do heroin or whatever.)
Pay attention to your spending. Some people like a dedicated program for budgeting, or their bank provides something. I'm a particular kind of nerd so I used Google sheets. Whatever you use, adding up what you're actually spending every month can be illuminating. I don't expect anyone to discover "if I stop getting avocado toast I can afford a house", but knowing where your money is going is an important prerequisite for controlling it.
Don't fall into lifestyle inflation. Like, a friend of mine started making good money and his budget grew. He was spending $1000/month on food because he'd just gotten used to dining out and such. His paycheck was bigger but he wasn't saving any more. Another guy I used to work with told me his family "struggled too" despite a $500k family income. They had a big house, new cars, expensive memberships, extravagant vacations, designer clothes. You can just not do a lot of that and be happy, too.
Don't listen to those idiots who try to tell you that it all goes downhill once you're 25. Just because you're halfway to being 30 doesn't mean your life is over.
I'm almost 27 and have never been happier.
I spent my 20-25 almost homeless and working dead end jobs. I used to dumpster dive for food. I spent my late 20s working on myself (and cut out everybody who wasn't interested in changing).
And In my 30s, my life is so much better.
That people don't just pull tricks out their butt. (Unless you are in horgwats, of course)
Any maestro in their fields that you meet (be it BMX biker, stunt drivers, programmer, singer, painter, even a handy man) know that they dedicated 10+ hours daily in perfecting themselves in that domain.
The beauty of this is that anyone, even you, can be a maestro at what you love.
Just put in the work, the hours. Surround yourself with maestros in your field, for quick assists.
You will get there :)
Don’t drink and drive.
Always keep a first aid kit with you.
Actually know how to use your first aid kit.
It should be in a drawer or bag with a conspicuous Red Cross on it. If a stranger can’t figure out where the first aid kit is, you fucked up.
Drinking is not the most important things in the world.
In the US for sure, teenagers start to idolize alcohol and eventually it becomes the pinnacle of cool for some. "Parties" end up revolving around just the alcohol and getting completely wasted. Trust me, you are not a cool, as charming, etc, as you think you are when drunk. And there's are, absolutely people who will show up to these parties expecting to exploit drunk people.
I'm not telling you 'NEVER DRINK!'... More like, you don't need to try drinking a lifetimes worth of alcohol everytime there's alcohol around you. 1 drink can be enough. And don't hang out with people who push you to drink or don't accept 'no' as an answer and try to peer pressure you into drinking.
Do not marry the first girl you fuck (or the first boy, either way, mixed ways too, anytype anyway).
Go live with him/her, share an apartment (do not buy together) for months, live together for some time.
Possibly, break up and meet more people, rinse and repeat until you understand:
And more important even, learn to understand the other person for what he/she is and not what you think he/she is.
My old boss once told me: "when you think you want to marry them.. First live with them two years... And when you're sure.. Wait two more years."
Until they leave you and find someone else who is ready to commit.
Sometimes if you expect the worst; you make the worst. Get out of your own way.
People are attracted to people who are comfortable with themselves. Take the time to learn who you are, and friendships, romance, and relationships will follow.
Like everyone's been saying, learn to take care of yourself. Cook and eat well and exercise and sleep. But also just fuck around a lot. Say yes to things. Try something new every time you can, even if it's just a dish you've never had. Meet people and talk to them and have fun with them. It's harder to meet people as you get older.
Travel if you can, but you don't need to be a jet setter to have new experiences. Find trails and museums and go listen to live music. Try creating things, you don't have to be good at it or keep doing it, just doing it is the point.
Aging comes with a certain amount of solidity, in your energy and mind and responsibilities. It's amazing and it's not something to fear, but it does mean you can't just fuck around as much. And if you're going to be a person for the rest of your life it might as well be a person you like.
Don’t be afraid to try odd jobs or go for opportunities that you normally wouldn’t. New opportunities and interests can open up from getting out of your comfort zone.
Invest. Now. Use a service like Acorns if you need to. The more you start saving now, the more you’ll have when you’re old and can’t work anymore.
When faced with seemingly equivalent choices, pick the once that maximizes your future options.
A. I wouldn't because that implies by being around longer I know more or am more right about some things than young people. I've accumulated knowledge, but that doesn't mean anybody should listen to what I have to say or that I'm wiser. There are certainly times that is true, but it's also true that we have a lot to learn from them and we should listen to them.
B.
I feel like the below is one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned. Actually, I’m still fully learning it. Seems so simple but, to me at least, it’s been evasive.
Translated from Portuguese from the song “A Vida É Um Desafio” by Racionais MCs:
Tomorrow is an illusion
Because it doesn’t exist yet
The “today” is real
It’s the reality you can interfere with
The opportunities for change
Are in the present
Don’t wait for the future to change your life
Because the future will be a consequence of the present
Original:
O amanhã é ilusório
Porque ainda não existe
O hoje é real
É a realidade que você pode interferir
As oportunidades de mudança
'Tá no presente
Não espere o futuro mudar sua vida
Porque o futuro será a consequência do presente
Invest in yourself. Be good to the people around you. Set up your finances well early so you don't have to rush later.
Understand how sun cream factors work and always wear it.
Get one good cooking knife and learn how to hone and sharpen it. You have to sharpen it often and almost immediately. Learn how to cut vegetables. Start with onions because they are cheap and versatile.
Keep a freewriting journal.
If you're a guy take a moment to look into what women go through in their lives with guys. It's not complicated or mysterious, it's just that a significant portion of guys never heard about it. It'll automatically make you a better man and you'll have a better time too :)
Almost no one knows how to do the job they are hired for. You'll have a trainer at almost every job. Apply for things you don't think you are qualified for. Most people figure it out as they go.
Leave home.
I'm not sure any good advice I grew up with applies to this future we're stumbling into. Learn practical skills like gardening and fixing your stuff. Buy as little as you possibly can. An affordable set of basic tools is a great thing to keep for life. Consider the state of the world long and hard before you decide to bring children into it. Never talk to the police.
Start buying a few shares of VTI every pay period. Use any left over cash to buy SPYG. Ignore the gains or losses, the market has never not gone up (eventually). Thank yourself later.
Max out your 401k when you get a decent paying job. But make sure you hit every pay period to maximize your employer contribution.
Consider using mass transit where possible, bike if you can, more or less avoid a car/insurance. If that's not possible get a cheap car like a used Nissan leaf ($7000 in my area, costs a few dollars a month to charge using a wall outlet and extension cord)
Minimize unnecessary expenses like using food delivery services. Meal prep on the weekends and make enough food for a week.
If you do all this for 10 years or so, you'll be in a really good spot financially. Buying a house will be a decent prospect, your VTI and SPYG will be making money, your taxable income will be small and you will have built up the ability to splurge on things without it making much of an impact on your finances.
I've been following the YouTube channel Chris invests and he gives lots of similar advice like this.
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