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[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 86 points 6 months ago

How long can one person avoid yard work? The answer will shock you.

[-] scytale@lemm.ee 15 points 6 months ago

3 weeks so far lol. I’ll probably have to finally mow next week before it gets unmanageable.

[-] Boozilla@lemmy.world 60 points 6 months ago

"Clueless old man tries the cloud."

[-] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 45 points 6 months ago

He's unemployed, autistic, spends his free time configuring Linux distros, doomscrolling and falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. You won't believe how he met his wife!

[-] Artyom@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago

Wait, but how did you meet your wife though?

I too choose this guy's wife.

[-] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

I asked for her number in a night club, she was the bartender.

[-] Toes@ani.social 38 points 6 months ago

101 mistakes to avoid if you wanna reach 30

[-] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago

me, reading: oh no... oh no!

[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 38 points 6 months ago

“Which programming language will kill you the fastest? One man searches for the answer.”

[-] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago
[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Might I refer you to Brainfuck, or perhaps Whitespace?

[-] Guest_User@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Do let me know of the outcome!

[-] Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 months ago

I’ve found calling HTML a programming language helps.

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

::: spoiler Spoiler "The hackers chainsaw" - Forth

Old Reverse Polish Yoda can kill with one Word.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 31 points 6 months ago

Man goes to memorial service and learns coworker's shocking secret!

[-] hddsx@lemmy.ca 16 points 6 months ago
[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

My stepmom's mom died, I found out my coworker sings in her church's choir.

If you knew him, you'd be shocked too.

[-] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 20 points 6 months ago

This is just how the click baits turn out too

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago

Hey shitty news sites! I'm accepting bids for part time click bait writing!

[-] lolola 24 points 6 months ago

Fail compilation 2024 (watch till the end 😂👌)

[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

Scientists discover THIS many shots of vodka will inebriate you

[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago

Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside... What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

[-] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 months ago

WHATS #7 damnit‽

[-] rimu@piefed.social 15 points 6 months ago

Chaos Condo in Manila: Yowling cat, BDSM couple and Nose Job Woes Shake Up Quiet Night.

I am not kidding. Life is strange sometimes.

[-] rimu@piefed.social 11 points 6 months ago

Also across the hall there is a phone that rings for 10 full minutes, every day.

And the aircon smells like mold.

And the windows are stuck shut.

And the bathroom smells a bit like sewer.

Sorry, got on a roll there.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 6 months ago

This reads like the lyrics to a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song. Like a more depressing Dead Flag Blues.

[-] Dran_Arcana@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Okay, I'm hooked, I have to know the non-clickbait story

[-] HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone 12 points 6 months ago

Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 11 points 6 months ago

Man waits 3 months to see his girlfriend, you won't believe what happens next!

She was out of town for work for a couple of months, we saw each other one time since she got back. Then before we could see eachother again, she came down with COVID and I got fucking pneumonia. So we have to wait a bit before seeing each other until we're both healthy.

[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

You Won't Believe This Guy's Crazy Knife Collection!

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

Nurgle mistakenly identifies local sedentary fatass as living in tribute to him, rewards him with the blessing of now 4 weeks of continuous digestive plague.

[-] janus2@lemmy.zip 10 points 6 months ago

How Is This Mentally Ill Single Millenial Holding Down Two Jobs and Crunching Through Debt Payments? The Answer Will Shock Most Americans!

(the answer is I am a lucky bitch whose main employer fucks up just about everything except they provide premium health insurance I can afford to pay for and pay copays for, and this has been drastically improving my life)

[-] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

Waiting for help, this shocking new treatment might be just what was needed!

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

She Put 26 Years Into A Relationship In Exchange For A Mountain Of Debt, And Now He's Throwing Things At Her!

[-] Nemo@midwest.social 8 points 6 months ago

Millennials are killing the idea of retirement!

[-] fin@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 months ago

I tried programming in vvvv and this happened…

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Man dies killing two cars on bicycle, his zombie stole my KOM ten years later.

[-] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago

"Virtually legless breed of alien woman hides in plain sight, sighted in Pitcairn and dumped in VT by her family after fleeing the people of NY!"

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 6 months ago

All I know is that it would be a headline from The Onion.

[-] yggdar@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Does life suck, or not?

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Man tasked with feeding his best friend's dog his last meal. You'll never believe what was on the menu!

[-] p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

"Will he kill himself? This man hates his life!"

[-] Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

Hi there. We all have ups and downs in life, but sometimes the downs can feel really down or can feel like they will never end. Take heart though, things can and do get better. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, know that there are people who care, and are there to help you. Reach out to someone if you need to.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide

this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
97 points (100.0% liked)

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