171
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 68 points 1 year ago

Its only stealthy at night (they just painted it black)

[-] InfiniteFlow@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago

A rifle scope that can see through walls.

[-] F04118F@feddit.nl 25 points 1 year ago

It has a negative magnification: it's a fisheye lens.

[-] kwomp2@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

My personal winner

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Kacarott@feddit.de 22 points 1 year ago

You can see through more than walls, you can see through everything! ...so all you can see is the empty void

It only works if it's pointed toward Chernobyl

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 37 points 1 year ago

A weapon system that spreads peace, love, and freedom indiscriminately.

[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 30 points 1 year ago

Indiscriminately across all of space and time... which is mostly empty.

[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 year ago

So when it averages out, it's actually less effective than cat videos.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

An army of hive-mind cats.

[-] skulblaka@startrek.website 45 points 1 year ago

The plan works perfectly. You are not in charge of the hive mind.

[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

Tear gas has been converted to cat nip gas.

[-] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I just want to express my desire for an army of attack cats trained to shred anything painted by a laser, designator, pointer or otherwise

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Be the change you wish to see in the world

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 7 points 1 year ago

It's nap time... it's always nap time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 18 points 1 year ago

A sword that appears in your hand whenever you need it, and then disappears again when you don't.

[-] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 year ago

In appears IN your hand, ripping your muscles and tearing your skin

Your hand ends up looking like you played with super glue and fireworks

Also, you can only summon it twice before you run out of hands

[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 17 points 1 year ago

Heh, also you don't "summon" it... it appears whenever you need it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It appears while being held by the blade.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ampedwolfman@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

A gauntlet that lets you control metal like magneto.

[-] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 year ago
[-] offthecrossbar@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

Haha holy shit I love this one so much

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 year ago
[-] Cassa 14 points 1 year ago

That's a downside - imagine an AI that can't draw trying to differenciate between a friend of foe. it just shoots everyone and their cat

Tay is back, bitches, and she has a a heavy autoloading cannon

[-] Ludrol@szmer.info 16 points 1 year ago

A button that makes the backdoor in enemy C&C softwere.

[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 17 points 1 year ago

The backdoor gives you access to the enemy's copy of C&C: Red Alert.

[-] macrocarpa@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

....turns out the latest upgrade to your c and c software was stolen from the enemy by cyber squad, and most of your assets on the southern front are now controlled by five primary school cs:go players in Fulham.

[-] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago

It's spotted within 5 minutes by some nerd who noticed that the program took an extra ten seconds to load and immediately wanted to know why.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SkyeHarith@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

A gun that switched everyone's gender but not their sex.

[-] red@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 year ago

It always fires twice in rapid succession

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

Too stealthy. Crews can't find it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago

Dima, Ivan, I need weapon from you that only hurts bad guys!

[-] MashedTech@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

The device fails because moral relativism (as discussed by philosophers like Gilbert Harman) and the complexity of ethical theories (such as utilitarianism by John Stuart Mill and deontology by Immanuel Kant) make it impossible for a machine to accurately judge "bad" actions or intentions, given the deep subjectivity and cultural variance in ethics.

[-] Draegur@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

it only hurts them, cannot actually incapacitate or kill them. you have a torture device. task failed successfully?

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Neato@ttrpg.network 13 points 1 year ago

It can pierce through any armor.

[-] ampedwolfman@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

But only if no one is wearing it.

[-] Longpork3@lemmy.nz 14 points 1 year ago

But only the armor. Bullet passes through helmet, stops when it hits skull.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 12 points 1 year ago

Robotic Christopher Walken.

[-] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago
[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

He just wants to be... ...human

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] pewgar_seemsimandroid 11 points 1 year ago

a hydrogen powered artillery cannon with 2 kamikazi drones equipped

[-] JohnyRocket@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 year ago

The hydrogen can only be inserted in solid form by hand

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] jimbolauski@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Stealth tank skin requires full stripping and recoating after anything hits it to remain stealthy.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Estiar@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

An anti radiation missile that targets passive systems

[-] pewgar_seemsimandroid 12 points 1 year ago

it uses nuclear power for fuel and keeps shooting itself

[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

My dick, but it's armored.

[-] jimbolauski@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

Pee hole is vented backwards

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2024
171 points (100.0% liked)

NonCredibleDefense

7412 readers
2 users here now

A community for your defence shitposting needs

Rules

1. Be niceDo not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.

2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes

If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.

3. Content must be relevant

Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.

4. No racism / hatespeech

No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.

5. No politics

We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.

6. No seriousposting

We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.

7. No classified material

Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.

8. Source artwork

If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.

9. No low-effort posts

No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.

10. Don't get us banned

No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.

11. No misinformation

NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.


Join our Matrix chatroom


Other communities you may be interested in


Banner made by u/Fertility18

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS