These units are too logical and scientific for my free, spirited, emotional, irrational Christian brain so I need something that’s more intuitive.

TiB

One tebibyte equals 2^40 or 1,099,511,627,776 bytes.

We should be using KB, MB, GB, and TB. Also we should adopt the entire International System of Units and stop with the shit we use. The army uses metric. Why can't the rest of the population?

IEC

We can use bits instead of bytes. That way it can look 8x bigger than it really is and have no real bearing to modern computing.

KiB, MiB, GiB, TiB

Octal. Start expressing it in maga Octal with thoughts prayers and bullets for ones

No, those are not metric, they just borrowed some prefixes, although it's not like metric designers invented those anyways.

Letter to Grandma, The Bible, Vacation photo album, and Video Collection

American football fields.