459
Gamedev is Easy (programming.dev)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by JPDev@programming.dev to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

Transcript

var game = new Game()
  .EnableMultiplayer()
  .EnableSpatialAudio()
  .SetPerformance(Game.Performance.HIGH)
  .ForEachBug(Bug::AutoFix)
  .GetWishlists(7000);

game.Release();
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Malix@sopuli.xyz 86 points 2 years ago

c'mon man, you forgot to call .EnableUltraWideSupport()

[-] mcforest@feddit.de 32 points 2 years ago

Naah, gamedevs hate us more than they love money :(

[-] Daxtron2@startrek.website 9 points 2 years ago

The tech just isn't there yet to support an extra line 😔

[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago

I'm pretty sure the Aspect Ratio of the Year is 4:3

[-] Scoopta@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

Where's the .EnableUltraUltraWideSupport(). Gotta have my 48:9 aspect ratio

[-] Scoopta@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

Where's the .EnableUltraUltraWideSupport(). Gotta have my 48:9 aspect ratio

[-] savvywolf@pawb.social 76 points 2 years ago

Whoa, you can't trust people with that code. You gotta put in a few rootkits and drm to stop filthy pirates and cheats.

[-] underisk@lemmy.ml 69 points 2 years ago

Another dev who forgot to .AddGameplay()

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 8 points 2 years ago

I assume that's part of the constructor?

[-] HereIAm@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Should really start practicing dependency injection, so you can create any kind of gameplay you want easily!

[-] BurningTurtle@programming.dev 54 points 2 years ago

Weirdly they often forget to use .EnableCrossplay() and then complain about it being "hard to implement".

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

and then complain about it being "hard to implement".

Ok but seriously, if a completely new dev team picking up a game 20 years after it was originally written for one platform can port it to a new platform with an entire new custom user experience and support optional cross-play, I have no sympathy for developers of modern games designed from the start to run on multiple platforms not supporting cross-play in their game.

[-] msage@programming.dev 10 points 2 years ago

You have to take into account that a big company game is going to by much harder to implement than just a small hobby team game simply because of all the people involved.

What can 5 people do in a year may take more for 500 people, just because of the management overhead. And if that management sucks, it will end up doing way more things it was required to do, yet the original request will not be done well.

[-] vox@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 years ago

well if a game heavily relie s on steam networking stack crossplay may be close to impressiblr to implement without ripping the whole stack out

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Just port Steam to the Nintendo PlayStation.

[-] MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com 35 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I smell a NotImplementedException somewhere.

[-] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 57 points 2 years ago
catch (Exception e) {
    Exception.autofix(e);
}

Done!

[-] MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com 1 points 2 years ago

Perfect! Don’t forget to assert the same exception in all the tests.

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago
[-] MostlyBlindGamer@rblind.com 2 points 2 years ago

I don’t know, at least ‘SetPerformance()’ could throw an argument out of bounds exception.

[-] kamen@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago

Yep, easy as that, just that each method takes months.

[-] ryehypernova@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago

or years in some cases

[-] RandomVideos@programming.dev 1 points 2 years ago

How are you implementing bug catching and autofixing in a couple of months

[-] kamen@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Yeah, that part is a bit iffy, but managers and product owners will believe it.

[-] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 21 points 2 years ago

No no release should be executed first

[-] LordOfTheChia@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Reminds me of Coffee Stain Studio's trailer for the release of Goat MMO Simulator:

https://youtu.be/WAm5yxQA_HY

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 9 points 2 years ago
@platform('engagement')
game.Release().then(ninjaNFTandMTXDLC);

are you feeling it Mr. Crabs?

[-] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

EnableSpatialAudio()

I thought most games nowadays don't do any of that, because you can save that CPU time for a little big more frames.

[-] snugglebutt 2 points 2 years ago

Save that CPU time for Denuvo

[-] seang96@spgrn.com 5 points 2 years ago

I love me some builder design patterns!

[-] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 3 points 2 years ago

Psht No wonder AI is taking all of our jobs

[-] Fades@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[-] SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Lower effort reply

[-] asterfield@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

This code is going to make me have a stroke. What language is this? Why does the game object have an internal bug tracker implementation? Does the game force itself into wishlists? If yes, why stop at 7000?

I know I shouldn’t get so mad at a random internet joke but this one makes me twitchy.

this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
459 points (100.0% liked)

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