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this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2024
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Oh absolutely! That thought tag may be a hangover from everyone giving me reasons I "must" have kids, or I "will change my mind" about having kids "wait till you find the right guy". It seemed to break people's minds that a midwest small-town girl wouldn't want kids (same good christian folks who were also terrified I might have sex and get knocked up). It always appalled me when the conversation would take that "who's gonna take care of you when your old" turn. I have a good relationship with my folks now, I hope I can care for them to the best of my ability as they are getting up there. May not have always felt about them that way though, took some work. I can't hardly tale care of myself still though, and it worries me how much I Will be able to do, financially, time, etc. So yeah, came to terms with the idea of me being in a state home in general. But, having dementia or alzheimer's in that situation, to me, is terrifying. Being 100% at the whim of a stranger and unable to express any real needs or thoughts. I love to read, puzzle, learn and play games, learn new shit in general, recognize actors by voice in under a 30 secs... y'know brain stuff, lol. Just knowing it would be gone is sad and scary.