My brother in law didn't necessarily "ask" my Dad. He told him he was planning to ask, and if my Dad had any thoughts on that.

I think a lot of people who are saying it's creepy need to touch grass. It's not at all like bargaining for the transfer of human property... It's like choosing who'll be the first person you tell when you get pregnant. It's a deliberate choice to honour someone by giving them some information first.