I'm kinda in the same situation as you, hundreds of hours in rimworld, but DF hasn't clicked.

I've only given it a couple of goes though, and honestly if I think back, I don't think rimworld really clicked for me initially, so part of me is just running on the assumption I've not sunk enough time into the game to get comfortable with it really

I think one of the big differences is with rimworld you can kinda ignore 95% of the stuff in the game on your first few goes, and I think that makes it a bit less daunting. There are still bits of rimworld I've still not touched, but every playthrough I knock a few more things off (still need to really give a sanguophage run a proper try, for example). With that approach it becomes a gradual skill gradient that keeps you interested

With DF my initial reaction was a bit of a baptism of fire. I got the impression you need to interact with a lot more of the game's systems to even get off the starting line.

If I really sat down and gave it another few runs, I know I'll probably fall in love with the game