This is very true and an essential life skill of anyone who is in a long term relationship.

Wait for them to directly ask for your help. Until then, be an empathetic and active listener.

You'll get some serious points this way.

Asking questions is fine, for the most part (a part of active listening), just be sure they're questions, not commands. Eg. (Primary complaint): " Mary was being a bitch today", bad reply "you should avoid her when she's being a bitch", same idea, but a better reply "did you try to avoid her to stay away from her bitchiness?" In the former example, you're giving her a solution. In the latter, you're asking if she tried that as a solution. The key difference is that in the former reply, it gives the assumption that she didn't think of that, in the latter, you assume she tried and you want to know how that went, or why it wasn't tried.

The former, implying that they couldn't, didn't, or wouldn't think of that solution, also further implies that they're lacking the critical thinking to consider that solution. Which, from what I have gathered, is the root cause of displeasure from men's "suggestions".

Your mileage may vary depending on where your wife/gf lands on the crazy/hot graph (mainly on the crazy axis).