I completely understand. In the end I had to take a med to make it all go away because I was still getting faint whispers upto 18 months after quitting.

Mine weren't too bad when I was sober. It was when I was fucked that they were nasty.

You couldn't pay me enough to touch that shit again. Not for a million bucks.

As for what people think, I have two thoughts about that:

1. only people I trust a shitload know about my past

2. if anyone wants to treat me poorly because of my past actions, they can fuck themselves with a giant spikey cactus.

So few people ever get clean, and have a normal life. 95% of people that talk shit about addicts, were they to be addicted themselves, would not get clean. That's a statistical fact.

So fuck em. They don't know the strength it takes to escape the hell of using. And in all likelihood, they wouldn't be able to.

Let them enjoy their high horse. I know who I am, and what I've achieved. No one can take that away from me.