I just want a 'dear leader' like the fascists have, is that so wrong?
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Absolutely. I would just emphasize something that you alluded to in the fourth paragraph. A populist movement feeds not only the deep-seated human desire for Belonging, but also our profound yearning for Meaning. (War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges is a fantastic book which describes it in the context of war.)
I've long thought that the U.S. is ripe for a takeover of populism because of our hyper-individualistic culture, and the way that our lives have been systematically strip-mined of meaning in pursuit of profit.