You are saying you wish you had a mental illness. No it's not actually fun to be a narcissist, they are emotionally broken and can't have normal relationships. This is true for both Musk and Trump, Trump has been married 3 times, and none appear to have any actual love. Another proof is when he learned he won the presidency in 2016. There was no joy, because nothing has value to him, and all is an act for appearance to satisfy his narcissism. It's an empty life where you can trust no one, because you think they are as untrustworthy as yourself. You think no body loves you, because you are incapable of love yourself, and all you do is to try to keep up appearances. Even when they succeed and have everything, they really have nothing.