In early May my gf of 4 years broke up with me and at the end of May she moved back to her home country. Since then I've been Doing my best to move on like seeing counselors/therapist and taking plenty of time for myself and so far most days I'm doing alright but with her gone I have a constant dread of loneliness and helplessness as right now I just don't really have any future. no goals or major wants and I'm not really sure where to go from here.
I live in a very small and technically isolated town where the only things to really do is either walk around town or go to one of the many bars. I don't drink and can't even hear in bars so that's a no go. There's a few sport things that are mainly for the kids and we'll... I'm not into sports of any sort. So my options for meeting anyone are pretty limited. As in I can either loiter at a Tim Hortons or I can spend time at the gym in town which both don't really hold much value for meeting people.
Originally, with my now ex, we had planned to move to a city where we could actually do things and have opportunities. We had been working towards it for a while and now that's completely dead in the water...
I don't really have any friends in this place and idk what else to do to meet new people since there really isn't any opportunities to do so. It's also not the easiest place to get out of because everything is marked up so far above msrp that it's a struggle to even barely survive with a well paying job. I know it's bad everywhere right now but it's especially bad here as prices are still double if not quadrupled compared to everywhere else.
So right now I have no idea what to do. I'm surviving one day at a time with my dog. I want to meet new people and get the fuck out of this town but everything has been such a dead end here that so far my one chance of hope has left me.
I want to know what others might suggest. I have Adhd and struggle with large gatherings and hearing people but I still try my best and I want to at least make a couple new friends. I just don't know how right now.
Hey mate, first off, I really want to say I'm sorry you're going through this. Breakups are tough, and it's even harder when you're feeling isolated in a small town. What you're going through is a painful experience and it's totally okay to be upset about it.
But let me tell you this: there's always a silver lining, always an opportunity to grow and evolve, even if it's buried under a pile of crap right now. You're already taking big steps towards healing by seeking professional help and taking time for yourself. That's a big win and don't downplay it.
Building mental health is an ongoing process, and it's important to remember that it's okay to have bad days. Some days you may feel on top of the world, and others, it may be hard to even get out of bed. But it's those hard days that really build our strength. It's all about balance. There will be good days and bad days, but all of them contribute to our growth.
Short term direction is another thing you might want to work on. Right now, your world might seem all over the place, and that's okay. It's important to take small steps towards creating some semblance of order. Maybe start with setting small goals, like taking your dog for a walk every day at the same time, or doing something you love for a set amount of time each day. This gives you something to look forward to and creates a sense of routine in your life.
As for your strengths and weaknesses, we all have them. The trick is to not dwell on your weaknesses, but rather focus on your strengths and how you can use them to build upon those weaknesses. For example, you've shown a great deal of resilience and introspection in your post. Those are awesome strengths that can help you in many areas of life, like forming new relationships and building self-esteem.
Getting to know yourself is another big step towards improving your mental health. Who are you beyond the labels society puts on you? What are your values? Your passions? The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to love and respect yourself.
I know you're feeling isolated in your town, and it sounds really tough. I get that meeting new people is difficult there. The internet can be a great way to connect with others who share similar interests. There are plenty of communities here online like Lemmy, for example, for every hobby, interest, or lifestyle you can think of. You can also consider volunteering online, which can offer a sense of purpose and allow you to connect with others.
As for moving out of the town, it might seem impossible now, but don't lose hope. Keep an eye out for opportunities. Maybe you can look for remote work that could help you save money to move.
The road ahead might be tough, but remember you're stronger than you think. You're capable of great things and the current situation is just a chapter in your life, not the whole book. Hang in there, buddy. Things will get better. Sending you virtual fist bumps and wishing you strength in this tough time. You've got this.