"Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay."
Ugh that's terrible.
I'm tryna think what could be helpful here. Without knowing your situation better, I am not sure which of these apply.
If there is DV going on, National domestic violence hotline - https://www.thehotline.org/
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or connect to emergency community services by calling 211.
The Autism Society's National Helpline to learn about resources and services in your area - https://autismsociety.org/contact-us/
I hope something here helps. Really sorry you're going through this. :(