I don’t think a year has gone by since I was a teenager than I wasn’t painfully aware of myself when in public. It was much worse at 11-16 than it is at 37. But…as a small woman I have been followed in parking lots, into stores, recorded (I started recording back) and just the general less threatening long up-down lascivious staring. My rape experience was in my own bed in my own house in my pajamas. The last tinder date I had before I met my spouse tried to force me into their car. So when people give all sorts of sage advice about ways to avoid it..or like many are saying that it’s rare…I also want to say I don’t know any women who haven’t had an uncomfortable experience. I am incredibly mindful that this behavior is no universal among men, but experience shapes my own behavior. Don’t be mad when we cross the street or say no.

Further, saying no behind closed doors is something even more terrifying. Sometimes I’ve had relations I would not have if I thought I was safe to do so.

Just my personal story, mind.