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this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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Isn't this just fear-mongering? This comic implies that every single time that someone rejects a man that man is going to do something bad. I'm not going to deny the fact that there are men that are unhinged but this is nothing but a man-hating comic.
There's a good reason why we're cautious.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html
https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/
I understand that but there is a big difference between being cautious and being a paranoid man hater and that's what I've been seeing a lot of lately. There are a lot of disgusting men in the world, I won't deny that, but to assume all men are like that is asinine.
We aren’t assuming all men are like that, we’re assuming an unknown man is more likely to be like that than is worth the risk.
And then there’s the fact that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapist. Then we’re here knowing that when we’re raped or abused or whatever else we’re going to be treated like fools for trusting the person who hurt us.
So in short, not all men, but far too many women
So if you assume an unknown man is likely to be violent towards you and it's not worth the risk then how do you ever expect to meet new people that are men without automatically assuming they are a rapist? Also, you said that the majority of rape victims knew and trusted their rapists which means that you can't even trust the people you know. So now you're telling me you literally can't trust anyone and you're trying to tell me that you're not paranoid. Please explain to me how that makes sense.
"Paranoid" only applies if it's not justified. It's not paranoid to act reasonably to a potential threat.
Most women just fake trust until it's proven one way or the other. We're just not bothering faking it with total strangers as much.
That 1/3 feels low tbh. Hell basically every woman I’ve talked about it with has been sexually assaulted in a public setting. Some more severe than others of course but being groped in a bar by someone is such a common experience for women that I can’t help but wonder if they used the word sexual harassment rather than described it. There’s that study that showed if you describe rape without using the word a lot more people are willing to admit to it than if you just use the word.
"Public setting with alcohol" is a different beast than just "public setting".
I should be able to partake in third spaces, including those which sell intoxicants without being sexually assaulted.
But whatever, how was I asking for sexual harassment when I went for a run in a residential neighborhood in broad daylight? Or when my now wife and I walked to a fast food restaurant and had a group of men move from telling us how they wanted to fuck us to calling us slurs and eventually settling on both. These experiences are just the sort of shit most women have been through.
Yes, you should. I wasn't saying otherwise. I apologize that it came across the way it did.
Same end result.
Yes, but it would help explain why it's such a common occurrence when that's where it's happening.
Hey, go pet an alligator.
Studies show most alligators have no carnivorous intentions towards humans, and usually just want to get away. So probably most of the time they’ll just run off at worst. Maybe once in a while they might try biting back to remove a limb, but surely that won’t happen every single time.
This metaphor doesn't make sense when you think about risk analysis. If we are comparing humans to alligators here then let's say you go up to 1000 people and put your arm out in front of them. Now do the same thing with 1,000 alligators. Is it more likely that the alligators will be far more aggressive? Probably. Now until this experiment is done we'll never know but that is the reason why your alligator metaphor.
All fine and dandy but that's not what they were comparing it to
Then what were they comparing it to?
Rejecting a man. In public. And experiencing something bad in return. Like the title and comic in the post and your previous reply all depict.
Obviously also not gonna be closer to the alligator analogy than just going up to random people and sticking your hand out in front of them for no reason, and you know that. Don't play dumb. Unless you really, truly do not understand the concept of an analogy. In which case, it is time to put the phone down and start paying attention in your language arts classes.
Good points!
But I think the saddest part here in the first place is literally "othering" half of humanity as "likely carnivorous reptilian predators."
Like, damn, what a sad, lonely world.
Yes, wouldn't it be nice if more men could get their emotions under control and stop hurting and murdering people?
I read that comic much more literally and it think this is true in general. We see something in the news frequently and it can color our whole life. Yea, too many women have experienced an outburst from some rejected guy. Men’s mental health surely is a problem our society needs to do something about. However a random conversation is safe for most people most of the time. I believe women don’t need to live in fear but I’m biased just like in the comic. I like to think both of us want the news to focus on accuracy rather than simple fright or outrage
Yes, all forms of murder are statically rare in the USA and most people of all genders have an extremely small chance of ever being murdered. Homicide of any kind is not even in the top 10 causes of death in the USA. Violent crime is overall lower than it has been in recent decades and is on the decrease. So basically none of us need to waste time or energy worrying about that.
Except for US pregnant women.
Nope, the stats are what they are. Pregnancy is a temporary state, not your identity.
By all means, gerrymander definitions so you don't have to feel wrong.
I don't have to feel wrong because I have read the statistics that prove what I said. It's inconsequential if you have an opinion that disagrees with our reality, that's just a problem for you.
Oh look... somebody is peddling the "few bad apples" routine again.
I am not sure if you think that is some sort of "gotcha" but that isn't it. In fact, I'm not sure what you are implying at all. Care to elaborate further?
The comic is not implying that every single time a woman says no to man, that man will do something bad. It is saying that often when a woman wants to say no to a man, they have to do an internal calculation to answer questions like "Can I trust this man to respond okay to a No? How likely will they say something rude, or escalate to harassment? What do I do if he gets physically persistent? Is he going to get pissed off if I say no and come after me when I leave?"
Usually the answer is "he's probably fine", but women do have to go through the calculation much more than men typically. And that's kinda fucked up.
The comic is saying "just say no" ignores/dismisses the non-negligible risk of just saying no.