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[-] badcommandorfilename@lemmy.world 83 points 8 months ago

Human: I want to drink alcohol

[-] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 70 points 8 months ago

I will make you sick and turn you into an unlikable blob.

You don't understand how funny i am when i'm drunk.

You pissed yourself the other night.

I'm sooooo funny i swear

[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 34 points 8 months ago

I'll have to know I have no memory of pissing myself so you can't prove that happened.

[-] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 8 months ago
[-] Crank_it@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Sorry. That was me

[-] Spendrill@lemm.ee 12 points 8 months ago

See, the thing that has got it all fucked up now is mobile phones.

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 13 points 8 months ago

Soooo glad the worst of my antics were before everyone had a Livestream capable camcorder in their pocket.

[-] lugal@lemmy.ml 30 points 8 months ago

I think that's a bad example because alcohol develops when sugar is half digested by microorganisms. Not sure about the details but alcohol isn't "actively" added to fruits by the plant. The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.

Better examples are caffeine, hotness in chili, ...

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@sh.itjust.works 24 points 8 months ago

ok :)

Human: I eat bad fruit

yeast n shit in the fruit: nooo what are you doing we're already eating this!

Human: taste bad!

Yeast n shit: Ya bro that is like literally our shit n waste

Human: ooh i feel funny n good!

Yeast n shit: are you listening to me?

Human: haha fun! grabs another rotten peach

Yeast:...............

[-] variants@possumpat.io 15 points 8 months ago

Human: this yeast shit is so good we should put yeast in our grape juice, potatoes, barbecue sauce and boil all the water out of it

Government: oh no you don't, not unless you pay us money to do that

Human: but I'm not selling it

Government: M O N E Y!

[-] TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 11 points 8 months ago

The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.

Can't remember exactly what tree it is, but there's a rainforest tree that's almost entirely pollinated by drunk little monkeys. The monkeys are specifically attracted to the pollen with the highest alcohol content.

[-] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

What's the apparent evolutionary purpose for developing caffeine?

[-] Ross_audio@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

A really bitter tasting pesticide essentially.

Us mammals coming along recently has changed some things.

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 points 8 months ago

Or hot peppers...

Peppers: Mammals no eat, only birds!

Humans: Hold my rotten peach, I'ma set my tongue on fire lolz

[-] Duranie@literature.cafe 2 points 8 months ago

Roasty caffeine ๐Ÿ˜. Mmmmmm...

[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 7 points 8 months ago

Same as nicotine. It keeps insects away

Iirc it slows down a type of caterpillars who eat the leaves and makes them smell yummier to predators but i don't remember where i saw it

[-] lugal@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 months ago

That's a good question tbh. If I remember correctly, the effects on other animals (was it insects?) is very different from ours.

[-] Dhs92@programming.dev 6 points 8 months ago

It's toxic to insects, so it's a natural pesticide iirc

[-] Dasnap@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago
[-] sirico@feddit.uk 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Kola also archives this with Leaf

this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
875 points (100.0% liked)

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