267

What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

369 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] PM_me_trebuchets@lemm.ee 23 points 8 months ago

It’s good that OP means well, but also there are so many of us who do not care and are not affected because we know the speaker is using a generalized term and isn’t (usually) being malicious with it. I call several of my cisgender girl friends “dude” and “bro” and I’ll call men “girl” as a joke sometimes (like, girl what are you doing?). Many of these terms simply have completely lost their original gendered meaning in a lot of contexts.

[-] lembas@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago

That's great, and it's nice that you don't have to deal with that jolt of dysphoria in those situations.

I'm simply saying that it's also common (and okay) to not be entirely comfortable with those terms. Especially from strangers or acquaintances.

I don't think seeking to reduce the linguistic pattern of male as the default is a misguided effort.

[-] Witchfire@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm also on Team "these words have lost their meaning" but often feel opposite to OP's intent

When people go out of their way to force inclusive language to a degree that feels unnatural, and especially when I'm the only trans person in the room, it feels like I'm being singled out for my identity. It's extra uncomfortable when they make (often incorrect) assumptions about my body while doing so.

That said, I will also never fault someone for trying to be inclusive, and ofc always respect other people's preferences.

[-] dead@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago

Good point dude

this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024

267 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43908 readers

961 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS