I mean, this is a light-hearted meme, no offense to the people actually fixing things.

But at a company like GitHub the first status update should be and probably is created semi-automatic (just approved by a human). Afterwards they should follow a process to assign an incident communication lead, who takes over all communication so that the rest of the team can work on fixing the incident.

@GitHub: Hire me for more incident response tips from the backseat! :P