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this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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It's the empathy differentiator. People with empathy self select towards one end. People without select towards the other.
This is an almost perfect description of what's going on. I was unlucky enough to be raised in one of their conservative homeschool cults... 8 kids. 2 girls, were uneasy about the doctrine for a bit but were taught by parents to be submissive so they just accepted it. 4 other boys, no empathy or feelings whatsoever, became three hateful people and one neo-nazis. The third girl, fought against it with moderate ideas, advocating for women's rights, etc. Was verbally abused and taunted by them and her parents to the point of extreme depression, self harm, possibly suicidal thoughts idk. Hasn't left Christianity, but graduated early to get away from them. Then me, enby (assigned male). Not even open about it, but different from the other guys bc I actually have empathy and feelings. Depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts (the usual), survived bc of outside friends I had in secret, became a pagan liberal but still really mentally screwed up...
I do wonder if the enlargement of the parts of the brain dealing with fear conditioning, self-deception and emotional learning but lack of emotional regulation are because most if not all extreme conservatives (at least in my campus "dataset" of about 50) have survived extreme cases of abuse and either a) became numb to it and started convincing themselves to do it to others because it's "right" or b) became extremely depressed, suicidal, learned heightened empathy and critical thinking by surviving that and ended up in the "liberal" dataset.
Lookup "Generational Trauma."
Families of all different walks of life, from generation to generation are just stuck in cycles of perpetual trauma that they act out and pass down to their children.
With therapy you start to learn about and recognize your subconscious responses and triggers to this trauma and how to break out of that pattern.
This ensures that what they say and do no longer holds power over you, that you stop acting on or acting out your own trauma response, and most importantly you break the cycle and stop passing it down to your kids.
Raven, hang in there and great job so far! The best revenge is a long, fulfilling life. Gets 'em every time. 🤘🏼🥰 Let's fuckin' go! 🔥🥳
There's a lot to be said about the trauma response and a need for control. So I could see a) pretty easily. B) takes a strong person, but it's certainly possible.
I'm so glad you eventually escaped that, Internet Stranger. I hope you continue to get the help you need. Good wishes to you.