I have played Tactics Ogre Reborn, yes. I think it depends on what you're looking for. The story is one of Matsuno's better ones, and the way to navigate its branches is still to this day not a device that's been used much in gaming. Parts of the gameplay are still dated, and the equipment system is on the obtuse side.

On your specific gripes, yes, the permadeath works on a "heart" system, so it's not one-and-done. That's kind of necessary too, since there are some instant death situations (mostly in the game's side areas). The good news is that everyone is qualified to use resurrection items, so the limitation for that will be money, especially early on. The game's battles--especially the story battles--have fewer rounds than FFT does. There is a generous rewind system that helps, too. Between those two factors, for the most part, it's going to be less of an issue of permadeath and more whether you can actually clear the battle.

Unfortunately, Tactics Ogre has long been notorious for NPC AI issues. It seems somewhat improved in this version but it can still certainly be a problem. Here it's not going to impede your story progress (unlike a couple of fights in FFT where it's Game Over if a guest goes down after you picked the wrong dialogue option to start the fight), but it will close the opportunity for recruitment temporarily. Rewind helps again here.

Amusingly, the game specifically warns you about softlocks, so as long as you're not accidentally deleting saves it won't be an issue. It's possible you might find yourself deep in a long dungeon and can't handle the last floors, and in that case you'll have to go back to an outside save.

Overall, I would rate the difficulty higher than Final Fantasy Tactics. As you found, FFT gets to a point where player knowledge equates to a massive power increase. Player knowledge plays a role in TOR, but not really to that degree. A solid grasp of the tactics is required, and the game does offer a far smoother difficulty curve. It's really only a certain early sidequest involving some undead that has a difficulty spike, and that's mostly because players may not realize it's a battle they can come back to later.