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It was my fault for thinking any of it was real
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2023
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As someone who has worked at the same job for 17 years now and had my original boss fired a week ago this hits hard... after that amount of time I really have no idea what to do now and it's super weird not having them around, or anyone for that matter, to provide direction.
To clarify he was not a bad worker, or did anything wrong outside of being there to long with a higher end job that the company felt wasn't needed despite not really understanding that he did a lot more than his title suggested because that's what happens when your there over 25 years. The company has been doing terrible for the last few years and has suffered a lot of layoffs... I talked to him a bunch after but I definitely feel like I won't really talk much going forward since our biggest thing in common was that we worked together.
Most of my adult friends are former co-workers. A couple were formerly my boss, and I've since even been a boss of one of them years after.
Your prior relationship was a working one with a superior and subordinate role. You see you relationship at an end because those circumstances are. You have a chance now to recast your relationship as peers. Your old boss may not be up for it, and thats fine, but if you value them let them tell you instead of deciding for them.
If you have a shared non-work topic (following sports or playing video games, etc), ask if they want to meet for lunch to talk about the non-work topic. Its okay, at lunch, if you end up talking shop about your industry, or even about your former share employer, but set the stage that your interest in talking to them has nothing to do with them being your former boss.
Yeah, he was my boss, and we always respected the roles, but after that much time it definitely grows into more than that. I literally started when his 3rd kid was being born and this next year would have been the year they went to college, which is crazy when I think of it that way. I know we will talk and keep in touch but it will be odd going from someone who has basically been part of my life and probably someone i interacted with more than my own parents to just an acquaintance.
I am not shy for making friends either. Most of the people in our area have now been there about 10 years now and luckily we are all like minded. Over the years I can confidently say 3 of them are solid friends and we hang out outside of work and even with each others groups of friends. It's just what I have done for most of my life and has proved to be a solid decision. The more the merrier is what I believe.
It is a really good idea to stay in contact and stay friends.
OP is in a slightly different position since they’re the one who got laid off. They feel uncomfortable reaching out and might feel that way until they move on to the next stage of their career. By reversing roles, you can see how much they would like their former coworkers to reach out socially.
You reach the point in your career where submitting a resume for a job isn’t how it’s done. It’s networking - people who know you and whom you know - that land the position. It’s because resumes and CVs are only useful for people who have no direct experience of who you are and how you work. A piece of paper can’t begin to cover the amount of information that personal knowledge entails.