Please do not disregard the obsidian sphere in the Night Vale public swimming pool. Make sure to give it all due attention. But not too much attention, so as to make things weird. Too little attention, unfortunately, will also bring about its ire, and we all remember what happened last time. Simply apply the recommended amount of regard to its ominous, strangely comforting hum, as it gently lulls you to sleep.

And now: the weather.