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Selfhosted
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Don't listen to all the Matrix fanboys here 😅 It's no fun having to manage the massive server application and the mobile apps pretty much suck.
I would go for https://snikket.org/ which is a lightweight all in one solution based on XMPP specifically designed for what you want.
Massive server application? Running on a PI 3? If you don't want to federate with massive servers it's super lightweight!