I mean that is sometimes what it feels like. Like there is a second entity that constantly whants something else than I do. When I explained to my wife how this feels I even gave it a voice so she could understand that there is something inside of me that constantly wants something. It is concious logical thought vs strong feelings.

My favourite explaination is how habbits don't stick because whenever I have to do an uncomfortable task I have to do it is like there is a toddler having a temper tantrum inside of me when I do it. I can ignore it a couple times but it gets harder every time and when I give in all me strength is gone and I can't do it for a while.