I'm looking for communities and websites where controversial issues are neither censored or insta toxic flame wars. instead looking for something that is formatted for open in depth discussion. You might say "you have arrived" here on Lemmy, what else is out there?
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I don't think it's especially likely that you'll find consistently interesting, well-reasoned discussion through any platform bringing together anonymous strangers in an ephemeral manner.
I think consistently interesting discussion has shared stakeholding as a foundational aspect - participants need to actually care, either because the discussion is a product of some commitment they've each made (e.g. reading something for a book club), or because the participants are familiar with each other and the outcome tangibly matters (e.g. a physical town hall meeting).
Otherwise, I think you're more likely to get what you're looking for from adopting some tangential hobby and having those discussions with the friends you get through that.
Thanks for your thoughts