Humans aren't logical machines. What makes sense is rarely the key to how we work. We have a whole unconscious mind that decides a lot of how we behave.

How we externalise gender is mostly down to how we are raised, society and the media. How we feel about it is down to our brain.

If we weren't raised with such a big divide between boys and girls these problems wouldn't be anywhere near as big of a deal.

If people didn't receive hate and judgment based on how they expressed it I doubt many people would care as much.

But you would still have things like gender body dysmorphia where the brain can't deal with the physical body.