203

My parents are 57 and 63. My mother is erratic, forgetful, and when she gets mad she sometimes screams and throws things. My father is slowly going deaf, getting slower and more stubborn and forgetful as well. They can be infuriating sometimes, but I know that they're aging and I can't be mad at them. How do I deal with this, especially early on in preparation for further down the road?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Or, instead of the progeny taking care of parents, professionals could.

[-] RightHandOfIkaros@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, if they can afford it. Personally, I feel that not taking care of your parents is disrespectful if you have the money and capacity to do so, but there is nothing wrong with paying professionals. But that is pretty expensive in my area. I feel the same way with parents who are entirely absent from their childs lives, keeping them in a daycare or under a nanny or even home alone at all times.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Well you’re either too busy to take care of your parents because you have to make the money to look after them and so you pay for a professional

Or your too busy to take care of your parents because you have to work to make money in order to barely keep a roof over your head and still can’t afford to help them.

Pick one.

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago

I'd rather a mix of both. Most affordable homes suck (my mom's getting there so I've been doing some precursory looking), so I'd rather have my mom living with my wife and I and having a nurse (nanny if you will) do the routine functions when that time comes.

[-] manapropos@lemmy.basedcount.com 7 points 1 year ago

This is so weird to me. In so many countries outside of the west different generations live with each other and take care of each other. I only think it’s fair for people to give back the same kind of care to their parents they received as kids

[-] the_q@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago

But children didn't ask to exist. Parents "choose" to burden themselves with children. The elderly, particularly here in the US, are a drain on nearly every aspect of life. They control most of the wealth, still vote even with decreased mental capacity and empathy and generally sap the bulk of the resources for healthcare services.

[-] manapropos@lemmy.basedcount.com 4 points 1 year ago

I hope when you’re old and incapable you’re treated compassionately, however that may be

[-] the_q@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

I'd like to be treated compassionately now.

[-] tim-clark@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

You sound angry and entitled.

[-] ABCDE@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

But the people who they are complaining about totally are and have no explicit experience or same feelings or same entitlement to the same respect you demand. Nooo…you’re totally not entitled if you act the same way as the people you hate.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

So would the people you are calling evil.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Your parents also didn’t ask to exist. No one did.

[-] the_q@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

True, but they decided to bring new life into this hell.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

And nothin anyone here can do for you. So you can get over it or get old and miserly die with a heart attack angry about it. Your call.

[-] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Probably because of housing costs not driving up the need to work for 14 hrs a day in which no, you cannot look after an elderly person who is struggling. That is a full time job. You can’t expect a person already working two full time jobs to also fail at that.

this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
203 points (100.0% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35706 readers
1999 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS