If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old “you’re a man you have life on easy don’t you know how hard it is to be X” or “that’s not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40’s” or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven’t done anything wrong you’re responsible."

Stop talking with the voices in your head. It helps a lot.

I’m just convinced men aren’t built like that

I'm a man and I'm build like that. How about not making generalizations about like half the population of earth. Some men want do MMA, some do want talk about feelings and some might even want to do both. There is no one size fit them all approach to masculinity. And it was never about, making traditional manly man any less manly. It is about realizing that we are all different and no-one is less human or men because we don't fit in some box.

Yeah, you are way down the toxic masculinty trip, that you fail to differentiate what of these things are what people actually want and what they think they want, because it was instilled into them by society.

Usually the people that present this to the outside are emotionally very fragile and break down easily, just not in public. Also your inability to find a community is not the issue of changed expectations, but of your own ability to socialise. And that typically stems from the "old school" training you probably received by your parents and male guardian figures in your life.

That "old school tough" typically involves denying your own emotions and punishing emotions in other people, be it women deemed "hysterical" or men deemed "weak". But nothing is more weaker than that.

Meanwhile "real men" don't need to get into bar fights because they cannot handle the fact, that their coworker isn't into them. They actually face up to their emotions and deal with them constructively.