What reason to you, is a reason to drop a friend for? (piefed.social)

submitted 6 hours ago by Toasticus@piefed.social to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Mine is evaluated based on how many of them were there for me when I was at my lowest. It'd be unfair for me to evaluate them based on communication, because then that'd mean that everyone would be gone, so that'd be unfair. I also don't think evaluating people based on what they gift you or do for you is adequate either. So, yeah, I think the clear line basis of me removing a friend is about sheer balance.

I don't like friendships that are just unrealistic. Where they want only and nothing but the best from you and for you. Friendships are about enduring someone's worst and figuring it through too. If you just push someone away all of the time and leave them in dormancy where their mind tends to wander into places it shouldn't. That's one of the worst things a friend can do and it can also include up to things like not talking to them just for a check up every now and then.

So again, if more friends have let me down or dropping the ball, then that's probably my reason.

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[-] akunohana@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

Some examples/experiences:

they enabled the rape of another dear friend of mine by being a passive bystander
they wouldn't stop using the n-word
they voted for a political party with roots in Hitler's SS
they slept with my girlfriend multiple times
they took advantage of me sexually
they were transphobic
they were racist
they stopped contacting me and/or responding to my messages

These are all different people. I'm sure there are more people that I have dropped for other reasons too. The ones that were hard to drop were the ones that I loved, either platonically or romantically. The ones that were easy to drop - and who coincidentally also had values that I could not stand by - I probably wasn't very close to.

this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2026

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