Have you tried a radically different career path? When the alternative is suicide, even starting from scratch in an entirely different field is a reasonable option. Can you find work that maybe involves more directly working with people? Are there kinds of work that you could do, even if you don't currently have the skills/background for it? Even if getting on that path involves going deep in student loan debt. Well I would rather be alive, happy, and in debt than the alternative.

I'm dealing with late-diagnosed AuDHD myself. And I get it. I've had my dark periods as well. I've been struggling for years in engineering. I've burned out at five engineering office jobs. At this point I'm looking at making a radical career move, looking at entirely different fields. I'm looking into either engineering positions that are mostly outside an office (like inspector roles). And I'm also exploring a mid-career switch to K12 teaching.

Ignore what skills you have right now. Those can always be obtained one way or another. But in terms of specific work duties, what kinds of work can you do? What actually works well with your brain?

I mean, Hell, suicide is such a final thing, I would pursue sex work or even drug dealing before I did that.