"it was just some old people..."

This experience has permanently damaged my patience for alleged "human beings". I'm with you on this, on how much it sucked, because my dad was once if those old people. This fucking plague killed him when he could've had at least a decade more to enjoy in life... My mother had just had a stroke and she needed him more than ever right when he got taken away. Now, every time I ever hear about someone dying, the math happens automatically in the back of my mind before I even get to recognize that it's happening:

Was the person who died at least as good a person as my father?

Because if not, fuck em.

I have no patience for the continued existence of anyone who isn't at least as kind, patient, generous, or warm as him. Which means VERY NEARLY every single fucking Republican. If they all died i would feel NOTHING. not even relief. But especially not grief. THEY DID THIS. I have nothing for them but revulsion. There is now a stark cutoff in my perception beyond which absolutely NOTHING matters. Only things that are better than that threshold are worth while. Literally everything else is beneath my attention.

Anything that is not at least going well enough, beneficially enough, to exist above that threshold, i have no time for. No room for in my perceptual horizon. I am one bad week from writing off all of existence and going out with maximal sabotage.