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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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Your problem is defining "sex" as "being penetrated". I am a woman, and do not enjoy being penetrated, and still enjoy sex. I've only put menstrual cups and a speculum up there before but I found it painful and difficult, like trying to push the cup up against a brick wall. I know women who have this problem and want to receive penetrative sex do vaginal dilation, but I'm not interested in that, so I don't bother.
If you like the idea of being penetrated, you might want to try seeing a gynaecologist about vaginismus. But this isn't inherently a problem if you don't actually want to use your vagina during sex. You might prefer giving over receiving, or you might only want clitoral stimulation.
Gay people (including us lesbians) have the concept of being a top (wanting to give penetrative sex) or a bottom (wanting to receive penetrative sex). I think it would improve straight people's sex lives to have the same thing tbh. I think some straight women probably are tops and some straight men probably are bottoms even though they're interested in the opposite sex. If you like the idea of fucking a man with a strap-on over getting penetrated yourself, give it a go :) And if you just don't like the idea of sex at all, you're under no obligation to have it.
That's a great response! I am male but don't particularly like penetrative sex either. I much prefer to perform cunnilingus.