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How much pressure have you had to have kids?
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this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2026
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I had so much pressure from my parents and my (now ex) husband's parents when I was in my 20s. I remember trying to skirt the issue by telling my mom that we weren't in a good financial place, and she said "that doesn't matter. You'll just make it work. We did." Yeah ma, you made it work by having screaming and sometimes physical fights about finances. Not to mention that I never got to have any extra curriculars or new clothes because of it. Utterly mental.
Thankfully I was told that because of a disease I was diagnosed with in my late 20, if I did try to have kids, I would most certainly die. So yahoo, no more pressure for me.
"You'll just make it work. We did." is such an asinine thing to say when most of us drag baggage into adulthood from varying degrees of childhood trauma. Whether the cause was financial or "I stayed in this bad marriage because of you, kids" while at the same time making another kid in hopes of it fixing said marriage or satisfying your biological need.
I've never truly wanted to have kids—past the very rare, but fleeting thought due to people around me starting to have them and lizard brain getting confused—in over 30 years of existing, and yet I still get the occasional "why not?" and "you'll change your mind" and "your life will have purpose".
My friends are all starting to have kids and I've never been more glad to have yeeted my uterus. People also stop asking you about having kids when you say, "Well you need a uterus for that."
If somehow I do change my mind, I'll adopt. But RN my mind is firmly made up: no kids
They always forget about how they kept voting fascists into office, and now food, housing, childcare and medical care are all exponentially more expensive, all while wages remain stagnant. And that's just the tip of the iceberg for reasons why it's harder to raise children now than it was 20-30 years ago.