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State of the Discord - A Lesson (r/selfhosted)
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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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Those saying "just self-host Matrix/Stoat/XMPP", do not understand the power of network effects. If people are too lazy to sign up on your custom server, and you end up with 50% of the users you would have gotten if you used Discord, is that worth it? What if it was only 10%?
I wish there were a solution to this. Interoperability sounds nice until you have multiple competing standards (like Matrix and XMPP)
The solution is for everyone to migrate to Jami, which is obviously the better option!
There's a certain irony making this comment on Lemmy.
Well I'm not trying to start a community around helping people, I'm just a participator. If I wanted to maximize the number of people I could help, I might move back to reddit
edit: a word
I understand that POV, but if people want help, they'll go to where it is. Walk the talk of FOSS. That's how we'll build better communities.
They won't go to Lemmy. Anybody getting into self hosting will not just know what Lemmy is. Nor will they per se care for FOSS to the same extent you do. So having people helping around on conventional platforms seems perfectly valid to me.
They could always advertise a Matrix room and bridge conversations if the moderators really wanted to as well, instead of isolating themselves.
Do you know what a hyperlink is? You just click on it and it takes you to Lemmy. You sign up, pretty much the same way you have done for every other service you have ever used. What are we doing here? Are we not trying to build alternatives to the corpo-surveillance hellscape that the internet has become? Give users a little more credit, and a little more incentive. Otherwise, you're sending mixed messages when you offer a way to get their photos away from google or something, but you force them to use fucking Discord for support.
It's fine if you disagree with me, but please keep it civil. The reason I'm saying they won't go to Lemmy is because those hyperlinks will usually lead to the relevant docs, a couple of blogpost, or Reddit. I personally have never seen a Lemmy or Piefed instance in my search results when I looked up a problem.
To give an example: I went to Google and I put in the query "how to start self hosting on a linux server", which is what I assume someone getting into it would look up. The top site (skipping the AI response and for some reason, Youtube videos?) was Reddit. That's why it makes sense to me to offer help on a more conventional platform for people getting into self hosting. The people among them who get into federated services will naturally find their place here. They are not forced either way.
If a little light sarcasm is incivility to you, then you're in for a real struggle. I don't know how most people end up self-hosting but I suspect it's more of an organic process. For me, jeez... I can probably trace it back to using StumbleUpon browser extension, hearing about Linux, then installing it as a way to avoid studying for exams. Once I was using Linux on my computer, I suppose self-hosting was inevitable. Where did I get the info? Wherever I could find it.
I don't get what you mean by organic process. But sure, if you don't think many people getting into self hosting would look something up like that, I get that you don't think it's worthwhile for a self hosting community being present on those platforms.
I mean it like, it's a slow progression that builds on other interests, rather than your average person deciding suddenly to self-host. And it's not that I think it is or isn't worthwhile, I just have a different idea about what "we" are trying to accomplish. If your priority is to grow the userbase of one particular community or project, then I can see why you would want to have "presence" on corporate platforms. I still think it warrants an examination of the principles of self-hosting and consideration of "alternative" platforms.