All an NFT does is cause somebody’s GPU to spin up and generate carbon emissions associated with the same literal string of zeros and ones that accompanies every other copy of the print. It doesn’t represent any additional attention on the part of the creator. It’s just a substandard copy that comes with excess waste.

None of that is true. You don't need a GPU to spin up to do anything. You are conflating mining crypto currency with NFTs. A NFT is just a cryptographic signature kept on some sort of blockchain that is associated with an image or file or unique pointer. You can use a preexisting blockchain or even make your own. Blockchains don't have to be mineable and blockchains themselves are actually a good idea.... mineable crypto currency is just a really shitty use case for them. It has nothing to do with mining and is just another form of cryptographic signature.

Edit: The fact that you think a physical signature has value while a unique digital signature (yes.. the signature is unique) has none is personal preference and once again not the point I am making. I am saying it is a type of signature and some collectors might find value in it.