I was raised secularly and wound up having a breakdown in college where I told my ROTC cadre that my nonexistent sister got me pregnant because I judged my father's wrath more of a threat than the US military.

If I had a spiritual community, all would have been well in my life.

I went to a Mormon church recently. I had an experience similar to the main character in Office Space watching the therapist having a heart attack in front of him has, where they showed they cared but half-assed it, fumbling the ball completely, and it made me realize, when they tried shaming me and cross-talking me, that this was LITERALLY the best they can do.

They were/are in Semblance Dharma. This is a term from Mahayana Buddhism, along with True and Degenerate Dharma. The Sound of Gravel is Degenerate Dharma; a preacher preaching hate has lost Jesus from Jesus' spiritual teachings. Semblance Dharma gets the surface of truth, but True Dharma is able to replicate the depth of wisdom contained in a great teacher's pedagogy.

Buddhism likewise has been subject to decay, y'see? But the church I went to did so much right. I think it wiser to fix what is broken than to start anew, now. I already have my "cult," which is my educational art project. I teach philosophy, spirituality, and mental health skills to help people heal and self-actualize. Now I realize I must be the founder of Mormon Occultism to be the left hand of God - while the right hand leads the flock on the path, the left hand goes into the tall grass and helps those who are very lost - and I believe this will fix all that you know in your heart is wrong.